As a Doctor, I see struggle. I see pain, suffering, and hurt. It is my belief and experience through 16 years of medical experience that as a person with needs and asking for help, that it important to consider this :
You are in one of two places at the beginning of change and they are both worthwhile and necessary.
Where you are at this time when you share your feelings dictates what I can offer as a Doctor. I cannot force you to change or be anything you are not willing, ready and able. And so I invest in the process and bear witness.
In this first place, recognize that you are feeling emotion and may only be needing listening support. This is a place to be able to feel and move through the power of the emotions that are present. Grief, fear, regret, pain, many things reside here. Loneliness, despair, acceptance.
There are blessings admist these intense experiences.
To move forward through this process, please know that you must feel it to heal it.
Once you have allowed the emotions to move, to release, let go, then the well begins to empty. I ask my patients to honor this place.
I share that people experiencing grief and loss need to take time REGULARLY in their life to honor this process as well.
Be it once per week, once per day, to set that time aside to honor and feel because you are going through a major heavy life event. This is your process - please honor it and ground it. To ground it is to have a ceremony or ritual or practice or prayer, something that transmutes that grief into something identifiable. Something real, something tangible. So you can keep it, burn it, let it fly away in the wind, bury it, drown it....have some place to physically put it.
This reality experience can change an emotional process that feels overwhelming.
Or have someone with you. A person of trust and love. Who can bear witness and share without the obligation to fix it, or change it, or make it better. Bearing witness is truly a place of giving with love when you can see the emotions are moving. A hug can heal a lot when it is paired with this vulnerability and authenticity.
As hard as this process may be, it does empty out what might feel like a deep, heavy pit of darkness.
You are more than this darkness but you must respect it by allowing it to be real in a way where you are letting it move through and out.
The second place you might be is the place of change. The place of readiness. The spark is there and waiting for an inspiration to light it and send it coasting.
This is the place I speak about in this video.
There is an infinite power in bringing Emotional Intelligence to your forefront. When you begin to take responsibility for your feelings and empower yourself and others around you to have empathy as well. What a gift !
Especially to our children. They are our future.
Emotional Intelligence is a skill.
It is not the default. By default, as animals, we are born to feel and respond. To react. To survive. This survival using Emotional Intelligence brings to you an new ocean of opportunity. Utilizing this skill, you can become more collaborative and engaging. You are able to see that what is happening around you may actually be something that could benefit you or teach you the lesson to move away quickly. But you can think through your emotions with these steps. You do not have to be subject to the chaos at times that emotional reactions create. Less drama and more intention is the result of using Emotional Intelligence.
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