While I cannot assess the quality of your translation - I can assess the quality of that which has been produced in the English language...
Its a lot better than I thought that I'd come across when clicking on your chosen title. ;c)
Incidentally I'd have chosen to stick with 'Colourless' as title - and avoided self-reproaching words in the title (as they become a permanent part of the link). Let people decide whether they'd attribute the term "poor" to it. :c)
As to the poem itself - I personally enjoyed reading it. It spoke of a kinship - a seeing beyond the surface that humanity as a whole could largely benefit from.
An ability to peer into peoples' thoughts - for as far as they are welcome, of course.
Congrats on your promotion. _
RE: COLORLESS (an exercise in poor translation)