I lay on the couch downstairs in my house,
My family and dogs all asleep for the night,
I sit here alone and feeling completely lost,
I always wanted a family with a husband and kids,
Just thought it would be different then it is,
My parents were always there for me even though they weren't together and I thought one day I would show my kids love like they showed me except my husband and I would be together,
Instead it's he opposite and I feel like I do so much alone,
I thank my dad for always being the one to tell me things from his heart because he taught me how I should be loved without a doubt,
My husband he is different and so disconnected now but my friends tell me that's normal from a man that was in the army,
I want to say that's just how he is and understand it as best I can,
But the only thing that gets me is when he loved me he would express things better then now,
How do I stay in a marriage that is this hard to keep?
My children would be sad in every way and I promised myself that my marriage would never end this way.
Crying tears of loneliness every few days and thinking to myself how sometimes it's worth it,
We go days of building what we lost between us but then it falls off,
Keep pushing forward and holding on to the thought of things becoming better,
Am I holding on to a fairytale that doesn't exist?
Do we stick it out for our children because they deserve us both or do we keep trying to rekindle and holding on to hope?
Nobody said marriage would be easy in any way,
Too embarrassed to say I failed at this thing called love that I continue to stay but each time I feel like everything is drifting away,
I care for him, I swear it on everything but does care from one direction have enough glue to save it,
I lay here weeping and feeling misplaced but come morning I will still be here hoping for sunshine after the rain with a smile on my face.
