Just yesterday, I came across a tweet that was made about Tunde Onakoya, the chess master who just beat the Guinness World Record for the longest chess game ever played. It was an act that made him renowned and a lot of people, myself included, who didn’t know him before know him very well now. He had been garnering a lot of attention, thanks to his feat.
The tweet was about an interview that was made with Tunde’s father. His father talked about how when Tunde was a boy who loved to play chess, his father tried to stop him by throwing them away. He just wanted his son to focus on his books. He had no idea that chess was something that would shoot his son into the limelight. And now, thanks to chess, Tunde is not just popular, he also just got a government position in his home state of Osun.
The main gist, however, is the replies this particular tweet got. And many people began lamenting about how they also had beautiful dreams that were unfortunately not in line with the visions their parents had for them, and they were forced to abandon them. Some had opportunities to play football in foreign countries, and some could have become runway models or A-List artists, but their parents refused to allow them. For most of them, the reason was the same, the parents saw those things as distractions and wanted them to focus on their schooling.
It was a teary piece because when you read through everything, you’ll realize that in their quest of wanting the best for us, they had unwittingly stopped us from achieving the best. Tunde’s story is one of success because, against all odds, he stayed through to his passion. But then, what about those who couldn’t? What about those who had the passion for football beaten out of them at a very young age? Or those who were forced to suppress their talents simply because they had no place in their academic life. These are people who could have gone on to live extraordinary lives thanks to their talents, but now they have to cope with the seemingly ordinary life that they have.
I guess this is what our parent's love for education can cause. But can we blame them? We have to understand that nothing happens out of the blue, there is always a reason for every action we take. If we’re diligent enough to sit down and look for it.
For most of us, our parents came from a period when education was not really deemed necessary. They came from a time when having even a Pry 6 certificate was seen as a big deal. And not everyone wanted to go to school. Their parents might have forced them, but they chose not to listen and probably wanted to do other things. But then things changed and they realized too late their mistake.
The educated ones were getting all the good jobs and making all the money. The bankers, lawyers, accountants, and doctors were the biggest boys and girls in town simply because they chose education. Many didn’t have the opportunity to get quality education, and many others had it but chose to waste it, either way, the result was the same. They saw their mates moving on in life at a pace they would never be able to catch up. Education seemed like the solution, and that was when they all decided that no matter what, their kids would not make the same mistake. And that’s where our parent's idea that education was the solution for everything came to be.
But sadly, everyone was thinking this way, and everyone was sending their kids to school, urging them to do well. With more and more graduates, the number of available jobs began to drop significantly. Our parents believed that by getting us as educated as we could possibly get, they were increasing our chances of surviving in the world, so they did all manner of things to make sure that we never lost focus. Flogging, grounding, seizing our games and toys, anything at all that would get it to work.
And for many of us that were finding out our talent, this was a trying time because anything that was academically inclined was seen as a distraction. You could have the most beautiful voice, but anything beyond your church choir, your parents would be against it. Hell, if the church choir even proved to be a distraction, you’ll be pulled out of it. The same went for football, writing, acting, and every other talent out there.
And as time passed, we all saw the uncertainties that faced every graduate. There was no guarantee of getting a job when you left school. And then, social media came and blew it all up in our faces. With just your phone, you can show your talent to the world, and people will come to you! We all know the importance of talent in today’s world and that’s why many of us have also sworn never to be like our parents. Whatever talents our kids possess, we’ll help them nurture them.
But then, are we not a little too late? It’s just a repeat of what happened back during the time of our parents. Who knows, a time might come when talented people will just be too much, and making a career out of it would be an uphill task. Maybe something else will be the hotcake by then.
How we choose to raise our kids is largely based on how we were raised. We take the good ones we like and discard the ones we hate, making sure that we do better. The thing is, we know that our parents did what they thought was best for us. It’s not like they wanted us to fail. They came from a period when education was the most important thing and treated us like that. We’re from a time period where we’ve seen that tertiary education is not all that it’s hyped up to be. So, I’m sure that if your ward expresses an interest not to go to the university, you might allow them.
In a nutshell, there’s nothing else to say. Everyone makes mistakes, our parents did what they did and we’ve all moved on. What matters is how we live with the life they’ve provided for us. Let’s not transfer past trauma to our innocent kids, and just like ours did for us, let’s do our best to make sure that our kids get the best out of life and are ready for whatever the future has in store for them.
I wish you a great one.
