If you want someone to do something for you, it’s not enough to just ask nicely or remind them of past favors. Most people have their own problems, targets, and interests. A better approach is to show them why helping you is also helping themselves.
Let's take this a little bit further , How do companies form partnerships ? One company doesn’t just say, “Please work with us because we need you.” Instead, they show the other side what they stand to gain by working together,it could be access to new customers, shared technology, reduced costs. It becomes clear that working together isn’t charity as it is profitable for both sides.
Or consider hiring negotiations. A candidate who is talented won’t waste his time trying to persuade an employer by saying, “Please give me the job, I really need it.” Instead, they present their value to you ,tell you how they can boost sales, improve efficiency, or bring in new clients.This makes the employer see the value in them.
This can also be seen in international relations, this idea is everywhere. Countries don’t get other nations to support their policies simply by asking nicely or appealing to shared history. They bring offers that will bring about trade deals, security cooperation, or investment opportunities. They make it in the other country’s interest to say yes.
It’s the same principle in everyday life. If you’re asking a colleague to help you meet a tight deadline, you might say: “If you help me finish this on time, our whole team will look good, and you’ll also share the credit.” That’s much stronger than just begging for help.
When you frame your request around what the other person gains, you turn it from a favor into an opportunity.
Everyone asks, “What’s in it for me?” If you can answer that question clearly and honestly, you’ll find people much more willing to help you.
Next time you need someone’s help, don’t just hope for kindness. Give them a reason to see it as the smart, beneficial choice. That’s yhe secret to knowing how real cooperation happens.