Hello everyone I’ve kinda had a bad day today.
Non the less it’s time to make a post and this post is about the real me
I HAVE NO FRIENDS
If you are a fan of me and have read a couple or my older posts specifically a recent one I touched on the fact of having no real life friends and sadly that is true. I admit I wasn’t a great guy I was just your ordinary guy I guess. But most of my friends turned to drugs or just never contacted me anymore and that really hurt me. And I feel the effects of that daily for instance I don’t go outside much maybe 2-3 times a week and each time I’m always out alone unless shopping with relatives and stuff but other than that I do not go out with anyone I have no friends in my town and in fact no friends around. The only people I can call “friends” or I’m unsure what the word is for newly met people oooo “acquaintance“ that’s the one who said that ?!? Thank you. But Yh all the people I talk to now are just people from around the globe on a few discord servers and well there are many great people out there sadly being without and let’s say nearby friends or taking its toll I guess. This also relates to Love to
UNEMPLOYED, FAILED SCHOOL, NO QUALIFICATION
As from the heading I’m still unemployed it’s been almost a year since I dropped out of college due to not getting on with people or enjoying the course I was on. I don’t have too much experience in working and most employers won’t even give me an interview let alone get back to me. Failing school and leaving with no GCSEs is bad aswell as in today’s age everything relies on GCSEs and unfortunately for me I failed it all partly because I wasn’t the best behaved but also I went to a very bad school with all kinds of problems for example. No English teacher for my class for an entire year in my final year, locking toilets throughout the school day only opening them at lunch and break and after they dropped this rule they installed cameras everywhere in the toilets which I felt was an invasion of privacy I just jumped the fence and went to McDonald’s if I needed a wee haha lol. And lastly getting rid of all the nice teachers and replacing them with government teachers that are so grumpy and unmotivated to teach. I failed every subject in school managing a D in English and a D in sports and lower in everything else so because of that I’m finding it even harder to find a job.
So what jobs have I been applying for ? Well let’s go through a list.
Drivers mate
Postman
Shelf stacker
Mail sorter
Warehouse worker
Cleaner
Kitchen assistant
Due to not being successful I have very low confidence and very low motivation to try anymore.
LOW FITNESS
In school and college my parents where very kind and gave me pocket money unlike spending it all on sweets as soon as I turned 16 I purchased a gym membership and went a lot in fact built quite a bit of muscle however due to dropping out of college and rent going up aswell as energy bills and etc we agreed to stop pocket money and due to also myself being unemployed I could no longer afford my gym membership and that was a huge heartbreak for me I loved going to the gym I was in there around 4-5 times a week and always lived going there and to see is just disappear broke me and ever since I unfortunately haven’t done any exercise since only walking and occasionally running
I miss tearing my muscles and pushing my body to the limits that feeing when you lift all that weight and ache I loved it I loved it all and to lose it oof just well that’s it.
Due to all of this I have little to actually no confidence at all or motivation anymore I just feel weak inside and on top of this I’ve had non stop arguing with multiple people today first this morning over an Instagram selfie I uploaded which again lowered confidence and other arguments regarding Bullying,politics and more.
Thank you all for reading today guys I very appreciate it I’m sorry it sounds very depressing and I’m not like this normally it’s just been a very bad day today getting worse by the minute maybe when I wake up things will I guess we’ll to Ben honest won’t be any better. But thank you so much for reading have a great day all
I promise my next post will be happier