Although we don't really spend very much time watching television, Mrs. Denmarkguy and I periodically indulge in watching the History Channel's "Alone."
I won't go into great detail, but the fundamental premise is that a group of outdoors survivalists and wilderness guide type people are dropped in the middle of nowhere, each by themselves and have to deal with the ongoing challenges of making it many miles from civilization, with no help and no connection to the outside world.
What's so fascinating about the program is that the participants' greatest challenge rarely seems to be the wilderness, or the elements, or predators... but having to be ALONE with themselves.
Rarely is the primary reason for someone "tapping out" starvation or fear... but missing their loved ones.
Of course, Mrs. Denmarkguy — the psychologist in the family — was quick to point out that self=professed loners were probably eliminated from the potential candidate pool, and she also observed that people wrestling with emotional issues makes for much better TV than just someone finding ways to survive by eating raw limpets.
Maybe that's true...
On reflection, I considered my own history with "aloneness."
I think I have welcomed being alone for almost as long as I can remember; certainly going back to maybe age 11 or 12. Alone invariably felt better than the company of anyone around me. Sick and twisted as it might sound, most of my extended journeys into hermithood were not prompted by some kind of social trauma but by a sincere preference for not having to deal with the evident "emotional chaos" of others.
Might sound like an odd thing to say, giving that I have been happily joined with (the current) Mrs. Denmarkguy for a couple of decades, and I dearly love my three "inherited" kids.
I left home when I was 18 1/2 and the first thing I did after getting my own place was... not have anything to do with anyone for about four months.
During those four months, I remember spending a lot of time contemplating just how tormented people seemed to be; their minds in so much turmoil over so many things. And I remember thinking that I felt like I could be quite happy with someone who didn't have the vibe of being a pot on the stove that seemed to be always on the verge of boiling over, and thus had to be watched constantly.
More than a decade later, as part of my early quest to figure out "what was WRONG with me" a wise therapist — who also became a friend (I ended up installing her office computer system) — point out that people tend to be drawn to your best qualities... often because they need to discover/uncover those qualities in themselves.
So those who "shine" brightly tend to attract the broody dark types; jokesters attract serious "straight men;" calm and Zen people attract chaos mongers.
Conversely — unless you're at peace with yourself — aren't confident enough to chose the company of those a lot like them, for fear of feeling "un-needed." It took me some time to figure out what that really meant, on a personal level.
Mrs. Denmarkguy and I both love being alone, and often are, at opposite ends of the house, even though we're "together" pretty much 24/7/365.
And so, we watch a show like "Alone" and recognize that we'd be perfectly OK as hermits, for a very long time. But I'm not sure I'd want to survive on raw limpets!
Thanks for reading, and enjoy the rest of your week!
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Created at 20221025 00:52 PDT
0676/1922