This post was prompted by the accounts of a Nigerian student in one of my classes. It's a reminder that the phrase "Fake it till you make" usually used in business and startup culture, isn't always useful when it comes to real-life situations. It's a cautionary tale about not professing to be something you aren't, while refusing to recognize what you are and taking the necessary steps to change course in time.
At my campus, we have a small number of students from Africa, and an even smaller number specifically from Nigeria itself. While many African-Americans give their kids faux African names not found on the continent, these people are the real deal. One can usually tell that they're not American by their accents which is obvious, but also by the way they dress, which is a little off and not quite American.
The Nigerian Arrives
I became friends with the Nigerian student who sat behind me because he was always getting in trouble for talking loudly on his phone while in class. He had many disputes with citizens here because he couldn't hear his foreign accent, and would get into arguments with Americans who couldn't understand him.
One day after a loud disagreement, he tapped me on the shoulder and asked me "can you understand my accent?" Taking a deep breath, I gently told him that while I could understand this question, much of what he said in class was almost incomprehensible to me and others, partly because he spoke too fast AND had a THICK FOREIGN ACCENT as well.
Accent, What Accent?
Since I'm known for being fair and honest, he seemed to accept that, and during lunch I gave him some tips on breathing to slow him down a bit so that he could enunciate each word, and it began to work.
We get this a lot here amongst Africans and other foreigners who can't seem to hear how different they sound to us. I can still remember how astonished I was the first time I heard Josediccus speak in a video he made. It was English, sort of, but his accent was so thick and heavy, that I missed half of what he was saying and had to replay parts of it back saying in my head: THAT'S what he sounds like? Good Lord. (no offense Josediccus!). :)
I'll never forget the short girl from Africa who was presumably cursing out one of our Latino clerks while I was waiting in line at the drugstore. Everybody in line backed the clerk up that she wasn't understandable, and i finally said: "honey, you have what sounds like a French accent that you don't hear. None of us know what you're saying." After more arguments with both the clerk and the crowd, she stormed out of the store.
It happens.
So I'll say it again: If you're a foreigner, and you come to America, you DO have an accent. Even if YOU can't hear it, we can.
So me and the Nigerian guy became friends and he would meet me in the cafeteria where I would help him with his English. People say here that I have a polished speaking voice, and if you've read my blog over time, you'll know why. So we began to have regular conversations on campus.
But in class, he was always on his phone... Not paying attention to the instructor, and always asking me a few days later about assignments he'd missed, and I was having none of it.
He's a good guy, but just has this one wrinkle to deal with.
Turns out, he was speaking to people in his village back in Nigeria who were so proud of him and his apparent success. This was one of his last classes, but it was a hard one, and he was struggling in the other ones, all because he wouldn't put the damn phone down and learn.
I tried to get him to study with me but that little piece of technology always called out to him. One day I demanded the phone and put it next to me and he actually got some work done. But my condition for helping him was that he put it aside and only answer if it was something important. That he was unwilling to do, so thus ended our studying partnership.
"The Walk"
He refused all suggestions to seek tutoring help, and then came: "The Walk." "The Walk" is this silly thing they do when you're getting close to graduation. Despite not having actually graduated, they give you a cap, gown and a faux diploma, and take your picture.
He did "The Walk."
Now he was on the phone even more conversing (in class) with people from his hometown and sharing his walk picture while pretending he'd actually graduated.
But he hadn't.
He was faking it, but wasn't making it.
You can imagine how the story ends. At some point, he disappeard from the classes we shared. When it came time for his actual graduation, he was nowhere to be found...
I saw him in the Fall semester where he told me that he'd failed not only our difficult class but some of the others needed to be re-taken because his grades were insufficient.
Here they'll only pay for you to take a class twice, after that, you're on your own. So I told him I'd be willing to help since I passed that class, but he'd have to follow my phone protocol. No Facebook, no Insta, only important or emergency calls when I was tutoring him. He actually looked at me and said: "I can't do that." I even referred him to an internet addiction service, but he refused to go.
And that was that.
He did end up taking the class again but the reports I heard from staff members were the same. That damn phone... With everything at stake and being the hope of his family back in Nigeria who sacrificed everything in order for him to come here, he failed the courses again and flunked out.
You Can Never Count A Nigerian Out
But where there's life, there's hope, and as he says: "You can never count a Nigerian out." :)
I saw him again last summer and he's a changed man. Sometimes we need a swift kick in the backside to get us back on the right track, and that's exactly what he's done.
He found some online courses and is giving it another try. Since he now has to pay for these classes out of his own pocket, guess where his phone is when he's studying? In his backpack where it belongs. Close by in case of an emergency, but not in his face where it can be a distraction.
From what I hear, he's doing well in his classes and is expected to graduate this year.
And this time when he takes "The Walk" he'll make it. :)
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