Making and spending money are two different things even when you make the money. It is essential to know that every money made by an individual can't be spent solely by that individual because there are other factors called "Humans in need" that might need the person's help and these humans in need as friends, family, close colleagues, random strangers and so on.
Most of our time, we spend on people who have done nothing for us to the detriment of our own financial lives. "I can manage" is what most people say and the point is that they manage till they get another one or they begin to beg from other people and go into debt. Our financial life needs to be taken seriously if not our life itself will be tarnished by people. Our financial life should be something private and not something the whole world should know. If you don't set a boundary for yourself on how you spend your money or give out your money it will fire back at you and you might become a beggar in no time.
Some things happened repeatedly in the past three months and it felt like a planned work against my finances. The first was in July, a person I know (I can't call him a friend) came to me saying he wanted to do his wedding, this and that and he would like me to be amongst the groom men. I told him I would think about it, not knowing his mom already told my mom, and later on, I had no choice but to agree. I spent a lot that month, something I did not plan for.
After the wedding, in August, my mom's sister (My Aunt) came also saying "My husband's junior sister wants to do her wedding and we would like you to be amongst the groom men" Why? ehnnn why? She was one of my favorite aunts so I had no choice but to give in while still recovering from the last wedding. I bought the clothes and all, and the wedding was successful, I had never met the husband or his wife before.
In September, I already made up my mind not to spend unnecessary to because I too want to prepare for my wedding and I have to save my money too even if there is no wedding in my plan but I need to plan too, right? Just after I made up my mind, my friend (This time it was my friend) called me to say he would be traveling to my city for his wedding and he would like me to come around. Thankfully I wasn't a groom man this time but the transport fee to his location was something else. I had to turn up for him because he had no friends in the city and it was just Oche and I that came as a friend for him.
After his wedding, I sealed up my heart with a hot iron not to attend any wedding. September ending came and there was no news of a wedding from anyone but before we crossed to October (This month) my dad informed the family that his sister's son was getting married and the location was like 3 states away from us, his family would like me to be part of the groom men. The wedding was in the first week of November.
It was at that point I knew my village people were after me. My cousin wanted to have his wedding and what? Groom men. Nah, I just said it bluntly to the family, I am sorry I won't be able to attend because of some of my personal plans that need my finances in November. "But the wedding is still in November" If the wedding is like, it should be in January, I still won't attend. I had to set a boundary at this point because if I continued like this, I would have very poor savings at the end of the year.
In conclusion
Sometimes, the way we assist other people doesn't necessarily be that they come to beg in our dm but the things we do for others that put a strain on our finances. We need to set boundaries for ourselves and others. I know it can't be difficult not to give, especially when it is a family member that's asking, but ask yourself, will you be able to survive after giving that little out, if No, then you don't have any help to render. "Selah"
Thanks for reading.