Hello friends, today I will discuss with you the topic of Why do we blame ourselves for things we could never control.The details are given below.
The greatest tragedies in life often happen over things we had no control over, things we could not change, or even do nothing about. Yet, we blame ourselves for these uncontrollable events. It is like a strange game of the mind, where we are our own judges, our own criminals. But the question is, why is our mind so sensitive? When something bad happens, we want to find a meaning for it. Because we have a strong desire to find a reason behind everything. If a loved one suddenly leaves, if a relationship breaks down, if an opportunity is missed, we think, what was I wrong If I had not done this, then maybe it would not have happened. But the reality is, much of it was not in our control. Guilt is a very strong emotion in humans. Especially when we love someone, we feel a sense of responsibility towards them. If we cannot fulfill that responsibility, or if a difficult event happens, we hold in our mind that I should have done something. Even though there was no real opportunity to do anything, our mind still makes us feel guilty with that imaginary sense of responsibility.
A big reason for this blaming is our society. Since childhood, we learn that someone or the other is responsible for what happened. As a result, when we try to find an explanation for something, we point the finger at ourselves. Because it puts the pain under our control. If we accept that I am guilty, then at least it seems that I could have done something. It gives us a false sense of power so that I can control myself in the future. However, this habit of blaming ourselves very slowly destroys our confidence and self-esteem. We become incompetent in our own eyes. We keep thinking over and over again, I am not a human being, why did I do that, why did I not understand, but maybe the whole incident was something that was never under our control. Such as illness, accident, other people's decisions, the harsh irony of time, these were not in our hands. An important example here is a mother who raised her child with great care, but that child suddenly went astray. The mother keeps blaming herself, I guess I did something wrong. But the reality is that each person chooses their own life. We cannot control everything, such as how a child will grow up, which is also their own path. But taking that pain on your shoulders as a mother is like an invisible sacrifice.
In fact, we should show a little kindness to ourselves. Life is not like that, many things are in the hands of time and environment. Instead of blaming ourselves, we say, I did my best at that time. Or, I didn't know it would be like this. Now I have learned, I am human. This kind of perspective keeps our self-respect alive, brings peace. This practice of forgiving ourselves is not easy, but it is necessary. When we understand that some events in life are beyond our control, then that burden makes us a lot lighter. We learn to live with our heads held high again, we become our own friends. The last thing is, not blaming, but understanding is needed. We need to listen to our thoughts with a little compassion. Many things happen in life that we could not have stopped even if we wanted to. So let's understand those sufferings, but let's not break our hearts with blame. We all make mistakes, but not all mistakes were ours. We are not the cause of all sorrow. Showing compassion for ourselves does not mean weakness. It is courage, mental maturity and a deep understanding of survival.
Translation: Google Translate