Next and already! There are billions of people in the world…🤗
Of all this that I write in this post, I have no physical evidence guys, but without a doubt I speak and write from my experience as a couple, for 47 years, and I have gone through this of dewatering the margarita flower "she loves me, she doesn't love me" many times, the important thing is that we have not closed ourselves to love, because it is as if we put on a little sign that says “not available”.
What happens in a long-lasting relationship is fifty percent shared responsibility for each other. Yes, you give your best in the relationship, you deserve the best from your partner! A safe, balanced will keep the relationship afloat.
Look, love shows itself. And not only that, love is given to the same extent that it is received. It's called reciprocity.
This is one of the most complicated things to understand. In fact, it is perhaps one of the most difficult aspects of a couple's relationship to process: if that person does not give you love to the same extent, he is not reciprocating, then it is not there.
Many times our tendency is to ask for love, attention, affection and care. We insist a thousand times, we get brave, we complain, we juggle to try to adapt to the other person's heartbreak, we act crazy, and endless other things to get them to love us, to be reciprocal, to nourish us emotionally as we think we nourish the other.
You have to understand it, because it's not there. It always fails in the end. Always. But it costs a lot to understand it, it costs a lot to assume it and make the decision, that the river brought us here.
Solution? Stop fucking around.
If they are not loving you to the same extent that you love, if there is no reciprocity in that sense, it is not the thing there. And let's not be one of those people who settle for crumbs.
The couple, is the place of intimacy...
It is where we appear as we are, with all our shortcomings and our longings; with our lights and our shadows. What we learned as children with our first attachment figures about intimacy, is reproduced in the couple relationship as it is.
"Love is shown and given to the same extent that it is received."
For the one who is dying of hunger, of receiving love, the one who begs for it, the crumbs are usually tempting... as they say in my village "the one who becomes honeyed, they lick it."
In my view of things, it is like this. No crumbs!! We are not little birds, aha hah. It all starts with self-esteem... crumbs have never fed anyone... turn around, go ahead, and build a new life... What do you think about that?
Once we review our beliefs about love, better decisions are made when joining someone, and if possible we will have greater chances of consolidating a harmonious relationship, which fills us with happiness and good things.
So it's normal that you fall out of love with him or her many times. The most important thing is that if you really love, you live by choosing the partner, even if you are angry, sad or exhausted. Are they loving you like you are loving? Let's talk in comments.
Janitze.
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited with Canva
Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia
Translation with |DeepL