The most recent exposure to burnout I had was in 2021, when I resumed residential training in obstetrics and gynecology at the state general hospital. I worked for three consecutive weeks in March after I resumed, Monday to Sunday morning, and I stayed over at the hospital at least two times in a week. My head kept banging with aches at every instance, my morale to work was low, and I became nonchalant and very irritable. I developed apathy towards my superiors without evidently revealing it. My stressors ranged primarily from my superiors to the high volume of work I had to do with limited resources. Thankfully, I did not react negatively to my patients, having to hide the burnout and yet stay optimal at work. By the end of May, I checked my weight and discovered I had lost 4 kg within 3 months. Lucky for me, I took my annual leave in June and spent the whole leave period at home without visiting the hospital premises. I regained my health and weight, and even the jovial part of me returned. I did not look forward to resumption, but I had no choice. Thank God, by August of the same year, I got a better and less hectic job offer, which I took without a second thought. I have not had a major burnout since then.
The second experience of burnout I had was in 2015, when my dad was admitted to the tertiary hospital for about two weeks. I was a medical student, and I had to shuffle between taking care of my dad’s health and attending to my academic needs. I did night cover, taking care of my dad while my older brother looked after him during the day when I was away. It was routine to drive my brother home since he usually left late at night and he could not drive a car yet. The height of the burnout was when the car began to swerve out of the road and into the ditch after I dropped my brother and returned to my shift. I dozed off at least three times during that period. Practically, my life was threatened while taking care of my dad.
In between the years, I have had several stressful incidents that have come in different forms, ranging from medical, mental, financial, emotional, and social. These stressors are often accompanied by the following reactions:
-Throbbing headaches
-Loss of concentration
-Loss of appetite
-Depressing thoughts
-Easy fatiguability
-Irritability
-Loss of weight
I have experienced all of the above symptoms either singly or as a group of twos and threes. My help-seeking behavioral pattern has primarily been identified by the stressor(s) and immediate withdrawal.
You will agree with me that withdrawal from stressors may be difficult, but seeing the need for that makes me engage all available artillery, which may include ignoring such stressors. I have had to ignore calls and chats when I am financially constrained. I realized that most of my stressors are from third-party individuals and not necessarily from direct relatives.
After withdrawal from identified stressors, sleep usually comes next for me. Adequate and uninterrupted sleep is known to help reset brain functions. I try to locate a conducive environment where there would be less noise and distractions, and I pet myself to sleep. A shower and a meal before such sleep usually set the tone for adequate rest and recovery.
Nonetheless, I could engage in a few activities, such as cycling around my compound with some quality and lovely songs like Simisolsa’s. Playing music while riding my bicycle helps distract my thoughts from burnout.
Since I have been able to identify my stressors, which could be work-, friends-, or family-related, my response is to limit my involvement, especially in matters that do not relate to me directly. I have stopped being the superhero some people have thought me to be. In fact, I do not hesitate to express my need for help when I feel stressed or threatened.
SELF REALIZATION
I have understood that I cannot solve all of life’s burdens, and thus, I do only that which I can do. Problems would exist even when I am dead, and as such, I should not burn myself out in a bid to please people around me. I have realized my self-worth and am doing all it takes to give myself preferential treatment.
Here is my entry into #aprilinleo monthly and daily prompts. You can participate via this LINK
Thank you for reading. I would love to have your comments and contributions.