The great lesson I learnt from my parents was that child upbringing has to be intentional, else you end up having miserable children. Though other things may contribute to raising a moral standard child, intentional child upbringing is one of them. I realized the impact of my parents' intentional approach to raising me has made me who I am today. Among the many values they imparted, two simple yet powerful words stand out: "Thank You" and "I'm Sorry."
There are countless times I have been denied food and playing games of those two words. From childhood days, my parents instilled in me the importance of expressing gratitude and taking responsibility for my actions. Even though these two acts are part of African culture, if one doesn't instill this in a child, he/she can live a rebellious life. My parents intentional approach weren't just words, they were guiding principles into my daily lives.
For my parents, "Thank You" was not seen as a mere culture, it is an acknowledgment of the kindness, generosity, and effort of others. Whether it was a small gesture or a grand favor, my parents taught me to appreciate every act of kindness, no matter how seemingly insignificant. For me to know they're intentional about it, they reinforced unforgettable lessons such as withholding certain privileges, like food, or not going out to play throughout the day until I uttered those two simple words. Before now, I saw them to be "wicked" but now, I appreciate the discipline because it was an effective way of reminding me to never take anything for granted and to always express appreciation.
Similarly, "I'm Sorry" wasn't merely an admission of fault; I learnt this faster when my parents have a misunderstanding, they say to each other "I'm sorry". This taught me that the word is a declaration of accountability and empathy. When I made mistakes or hurt someone, my parents encouraged me to take ownership of my actions and to genuinely apologize. From what I shared earlier, my parents didn't just preach; they practiced. And just as with gratitude, they employed a similar tactic of withholding privileges until I learned to apologize sincerely and without reservation. Great ways of teaching, right?
Just as I said earlier, at the time, these methods were strict, but looking back, I see their brilliance. By making "Thank You" and "I'm Sorry" non-negotiables in our household, my parents cultivated a culture of gratitude, empathy, and accountability. These values became ingrained in my character, shaping the way I interact with others and navigate the world.
To my younger generation:
With the lessons I learned, I will raise my own children and impart the next generation in the same manner. In this generation, with what we see around, teaching gratitude and accountability is very important. By instilling these values in the next generation, I hope to contribute to a kinder, more compassionate society.
So, to my parents, I say "Thank You" for the intentional way you raised me, for the lessons you taught me, and for the values you instilled in me. And if there are moments when I fall short, I'm not afraid to say, "I'm Sorry," because I know that's how we learn and grow.
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