Both the Western culture and system of government in Africa have caused the choice of marriage to differ from our parents' time. At this age, most ladies care to know how large a man’s pocket is before they can decide if he is meant for her. As important as money may be, it affects wrong choices of marriage because that is seen as a priority over love, understanding, respect, and other critical virtues.
In today's world, due to this mode of marital choice, individuals tend to establish themselves in their careers and personal lives first before making decisions regarding marriage.
The concept of being "established early" refers to achieving stability in one's career, financial situation, and personal development at a relatively young age. This is a brilliant approach it can bring numerous benefits, also shape one's approach to selecting a life partner and, in some cases, lead to delays in marriage. This is the essence of this article, as we get to know these implications.
The Pursuit of Stability:
If you talk to an average African youth, he will say “I wouldn’t want my wife to suffer with me, let me hustle now for the future.” As beautiful as it may sound, man’s needs are limitless, therefore responsibilities increase over time. Many individuals prioritize establishing themselves in their careers and achieving financial stability before considering marriage. This pursuit of stability may involve investing time and energy into education, skill, career advancement, and building a solid financial foundation. As a result, they may delay thoughts of marriage until they feel secure in their professional and financial lives. Meanwhile, it is not an essential ingredient for a successful marriage.
Heightened Standards:
During my days in college, I had a lecturer who was single, pretty, and young, at the same a PHD holder; as beautiful as she is, I doubt it is not every man who approaches her for hand in marriage – because her standard has increased. Here is my point, being established early can raise the standards individuals have for potential partners, they may seek a partner who matches or exceeds their accomplishments. This leads to a selective approach to choosing a spouse, causing delay oftentimes as they search for someone who complements their values and ambitions. Just like my lecturer who had worked hard to build their career would not like to enter into a marriage with someone who does not meet her expectations or align with their long-term goals. This fear can prolong for the ideal partner.
Changing Priorities:
Sometimes when one attains the height he wanted to before getting married, his priorities possibly change because he demands more achievements. What he values in a partner during his younger years changes as he begins to gain more life experiences, causing them to take more time to find the right match.
Societal Pressures and Expectations:
In some African communities, career success is seen as a huge achievement before getting married and people who adhere to these societal norms may feel pressure to prioritize their professional goals over their relationships, leading to delays in marriage as they focus on their careers. A man shared with me how he lost his fiancee over his career – he had no time to build his relationship because of his career pursuit.
Conclusion:
The impact of being established early on marriage decision-making is many and can. While achieving stability and success, it's essential to consider how these factors influence one's approach to marriage. By being mindful of our priorities and values, individuals can scale the path to marriage with purpose, finding fulfillment in both their personal and professional lives.
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