Nowadays, premarital sex is
rampant among young people. What if you got pregnant & encountered rude
in-laws with a partner who is incapable of standing by himself or standing up for you? Would you rather endure their maltreatment or walk out on your relationship and raise your child alone.
Why?
I know most religions frown on having sex before marriage, it is called fornication and a sin, but we can't ignore the fact that sometimes mistakes can be made by young people. Feelings can get in the way, principles, and morals can be forgotten... Bottom line is, no one is perfect.
So if any of the above should happen and It results in pregnancy?
If It happens with someone, man enough to stand up and take responsibility and provide for the baby and I then thank heavens. It may or may not lead to marriage, but at least I have someone to support me and the child has a family or two families to support him or her.
But what if it happens the other way around?
Well I'm going to share a story based on the experience of my mum's younger sister. We practically grew up together, so she was more of a big sister than an aunt. My parents treated her like theirs and she never lacked anything. She was older than me, so she finished high school way before I did and was preparing to get into the university. I was still in secondary school by then.
All was going well in her life, she'd gotten a job so she wouldn't stay idle because as the saying goes ‘An idle mind is the devil's workshop’. Her mind was busy until she met our neighbor, he lived next door with his sister and her husband. He was tall, fair, handsome and a charmer. Of course, she fell for him and the rest is history.
We found out what was going on after my dad died a few months later. She was pregnant by then, to the amazement of my mum and the horror of the man's family. She passed through a lot during that period, especially when she went to live with them. They talked down on her, she discovered that he didn't actually have anything doing, and after she put to bed things became worse. The man's sister would feed only the baby, and her brother. My sister was left to starve.
When all these were happening, this man didn't for one day stand up to his family or fend for her. She finally got a factory job, and she had to take care of him and the baby with the little she earned. Eventually, she got tired and reached out to my mum, who took her and my niece out of the situation. Now she's a graduate of English language, she has a job and raises my niece with the help of my mum.
I am really proud of her for taking that decision because I knew how hard it was for her to let go and the side talks she endured afterwards. The man didn't come after her or the baby, he chose to listen to his family.
So to answer the question. I would rather be like my sister, I would rather be a single mum without caring about what people will say than endure abuse and maltreatment from so-called in-laws or take care of a man comfortable enough not to do anything to put an end to it.
Why would I do it?
For my peace of mind, for my mental health, and mostly for my child not to grow up in an unhealthy environment. I know there are good men out there. A lady just has to pray to meet the good ones and not the bad eggs.
Thanks for reading.