I wish there's a pill that lets you stay awake for days while maintaining 100% energy so you can work all the time and not being distracted or feel tired.
I genuinely wish that because these days 24 hours is not enough.
Coming for someone who glorifies work-life balance, it's quite contradictory. I think work-life balance has consumed my life and resulted in slow-paced life. It's really not for me. I am 23 and everyone around me is getting rich, getting jacked, getting pretty and I am here like a boomer talking about work-life balance as they already past their peak years. Sure, for them it's work-life balance as they have stabilized their life and needed to fix their personal life as result to excessive working they practiced earlier. But idle work-life balance is not the way to achieve success or even build a stable foundation to life at young age.
Surely, I am not someone who enjoys " have fun staying poor". I don't want to be poor because I know what real poverty is and my way climbing the ladder was through education but I fucked it up too. So now, I am trying to find ways to stay afloat above the poverty line.
Realistically speaking, I want to be able to work 12-16 hours a day instead of spending my day napping and not being productive. However, I find often that my energy level is minus and maybe below 10/100. This has been a problem for a while. Perhaps, it can be my diet or my lack of exercise, something I try to fix these days.
I made a lot of bad decision this year and neglecting my career. I know we have corona but whatever that thing is shouldn't really hinder me from doing my work. In actuality, my work is always and has been in front of the laptop.
It does not matter how many laments I wrote, sometimes I just feel as though everything I tried is pointless and I'll ended up drowning. Because I am still chained to the old ruins of my life and I am forced to stay.I made plenty bad decision which I find hard to fix. Not to mention now that I am sick, it's full swing misery.
~ Mac
