Stigmas are a part of life and while they are mostly hurtful, they are also a form of realization to becoming better depending on what kind and who is facing it. I'm one of those who have had to go through some and have a story to tell. It's a story that today, I don't feel hurt about to tell.
Growing up, I didn't see a lot of things happening around me as a stigma story for the people it involved. One time in my childhood neighborhood, a lady was being talked about everywhere because they suspected she had AIDS because of hair loss and was looking lean.
My idea of AIDS then was very wrong so I would always want to run far away whenever I saw the lady coming, it was not just me. Until after sometime, we heard that she died from an illness and the mother was so sad. Since then, the neighbourhood saw the family as carriers too.
Thinking back now, I can't help but wonder how they must have felt then, especially the lady until her death. It's sad that stigmas can't be controlled especially the ones that have to do with illnesses, being addicts and criminal offences that leaves the offender or victim hurt.
My own story of being stigmatized comes from after the time my mum left us, it never got normal for myself and my siblings after that incident. Talk of pity talks, we got a lot of it, at least I got them a lot. I remember a time I kept crying after a small fight I had with a kid about my situation.
It was so bad that I kept asking dad to bring our mum back, I wanted to end the question of "so your mum left you people?" and run away from the hurt that comes whenever other mothers show up for their kids in school and mine never showed up. It took some time for me to adjust.
Another stigma I had to face is not being able to speak my mother's tongue, I could hear very well but speaking it has always been a problem and I got a lot of remarks that blamed me for not learning it. I blamed my parents at first but I came to realize I was the one who failed to learn.
Stigmas are bound to happen with many situations of people but living through it starts with embracing that reason for the stigma and adjusting to get rid of it as slowly as possible. Life is quite simple and time makes it that possible, over time things can get better or not.
What matters, from my life's story is, working towards making the most out of life even through stigmas. It's not easy but it get easier. I believe my stigma also helped me become stronger, there are some things that won't hurt me anymore even when it might hurt others. I am grateful for that simple fact and I'll keep going.
Images are AI generated