The problem of fitting in had a big impact on me as I grew up; I've always struggled to be accepted by other kids my age. Back in high school, there was a certain group of teens who were seen as the “cool kids” those who always seemed sure of themselves and attractive. They were the friends everyone wanted to have, and I was not an exemption to this list.
They exuded nonchalance and seemed unbothered by the problems of the world, though I often wished to be their friend. One day, I came close enough to hear them discuss an event that was to take place on the following weekend. It was the latest thing in the school, and everyone seemed to be discussing it. Having been neglected all my efforts of trying to fit in their circles, I was bent on attending that party at all costs.
Previously, I focused on getting to know the cool kids, imitating their smiles, chuckles, head nods, and attempts to have similar thought processes as them. I did this by miming their dressing in order to try and entice them into wanting to get closer to me. Finally, I managed to be included in the list and was issued an invitation to the party. I could not believe it, I was so happy, I felt like it was my turn to be given a chance. At last, I was going to become of one of the ‘in-crowd. ’
The night of the party arrived and I ensured I wore the best clothes I had in the house.
When I was going out I made sure my clothes were clean and nice, combed my hair as smoothly as I could and rehearsed my casual conversations. Enter the school, the popular kids received me with cheers and wanted to shake my hand and give me high fives. It was a wonderful feeling to think and feel that I had arrived! For the entire night, I ensured that I was the center of attraction, cracking my belly laugh at the jokes being cracked around, actively participating in the social conversations being made and even doing some ‘break dancing’ on the dance floor.
I decided that they would have to see that I was part of this group. I also observed that as the night wore on, the cool kids had been gradually including me in their circleLaughing at my jokes, telling me I danced well, and really asked me to hang with them more frequently. I was greatly pleased and excited with the information I received. Eventually, my goal of being accepted and included in the group of cool kids had been made possible.
But, as the weeks passed, it began to dawn on me that this was too much to pay to be accepted by them Still, despite everything, I had to endure being a fake persona just to keep pleasing them. It was very tiring and I started wondering if the effort was really worth it. Finally, I had to give up the desire to gain the approval of people and be myself. In this transition, I decided not to try and conform to the groups general standards but instead be myself.
It was a feeling of freedom and I was at a point where I started liking myself. In the light of this, I would like to state that it is never right to become a different person solely for the purpose of making friends or, in this case, to impress a certain person. We all need friends who will accept us for who and what we are and not fake friends who make fake appearances. It is a piece of advice that I have taken up until this very day, which I believe has influenced my understanding of relationships and friendships.