One thing I love about myself is that I know when to say no when it comes to reoccurring financial assistance, even when I feel otherwise. I don't think I am obligated to save everyone that comes to me for financial help at all times, although I think it's just being kind to people, which is very nice. It's important to realize that humans encounter ups and downs in life, and that can pose anyone to seek financial help, which is right because we need each other to survive.
Personally, I have been in terrible financial situations in the past where friends and family rescued me until I strived to bounce back. If there's one thing I detest, then it's intentionally becoming a burden to people when I am not blind, handicapped, or crippled to go out there to hustle for a living.
Life is not a bed of roses. There's no manner from heaven anywhere to fall down for our comfort, nor is there a money tree at the back of anyone's balcony. Even though some people are naturally blessed financially, it shouldn't give me the guts to always lay my burden on such a person, no matter his or her financial status. I believe that every legit penny people make comes through effort, no matter how little the effort can be, and I can also make an effort to earn. Even though I don't earn much with my hard work, I should keep striving instead of continuously depending on people for my financial needs.
This is my perspective about life and my basis when it comes to setting boundaries with the way I assist others financially. Remember I mentioned that I also seek and receive help from people when things turn around, right? I also have this gentle spirit and am so emotional to help people financially; of course, being kind to people attracts God's blessings. Let me borrow this word from olujay; he said he can go out of his way to help the truly "deserving people". And yes, deserving people who truly need help from all indications. I am so moved to help this category of people within my means, however, where I set my boundaries no matter how my natural instincts disturb me are in this scenario below.
People who are very ungrateful! This may sound like I help people only because I want to be thanked, right? Whatever you feel about this anyway, but you see gratitude, I hold it in high esteem. I don't know if it's because of the way I was brought up, but mom made me see many reasons to always be grateful for little things that people do for me. I remember receiving punishment from her each time I fail to let her know that I received help from a relative because she would always love to call them and genuinely appreciate them for the help. So this was how Mom nurtured me carefully about the importance of gratitude, and yes, when I go out of my way to assist you with a request and you don't find reason to express your gratitude, forget it. You just blocked your way for a possible next help.
My younger sister can attest to this. When she was in the university, I did send money from her from time to time, and this babe will never call me to say, sister, I received an alert, thank you. No, she doesn't do that until I call her myself after many days, and she will reluctantly say that she received it. I corrected her for such ingratitude, and she never changed. At a point, I stopped sending her money. Long story short, she later realized her mistake and learned gratitude from me till date.
The second scenario is the entitlement kind of humans. Like seriously, you feel entitled, like it's my responsibility to foot your bill? Says who, when you are not my child, you are on a long thing. lolz. My husband had the issue of saying no to people, and that drained his financial pocket..lots of holes. A lot of his relatives just feel entitled, like no man business; oh Nkem, I have seen a lot! In fact, one of his relatives already opened a bank account on his head. The man secretly built a bungalow, and we didn't know, but then he used entitlement to run my husband down financially.
I was being careful not to put mouth with brother relationship until reality came knocking; I had to stand on the gap and end every nonsense. Months later, we realized that this man was building a modern bungalow. Like, why can't people learn to say no to all these people who seek financial help every now and then? Why not set boundaries? I am already sounding like this is a rant post because I have seen a lot of characters regarding this topic; hence, drawing a line is very vital.
Knowing when to say no remains important, especially with some kind of people in our lives who wouldn't want to help themselves because they assume they can always get help from us. You wouldn't want to create holes in your finances for failing to do the needful.
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