Two years ago, when I was fully immersed in the ride-share industry, I experienced one of the worst physical, emotional, and financial periods of my life. I had never been in such a precarious situation before and hope never to be again. However, I learned some valuable lessons during that time, and I want to share one today.
I vividly remember how ill-tempered I was, especially toward the people I cared about the most. To this day, I still experience flashes of anger and a disposition to complain about everything, mainly because I feel that no one understands what I was going through. It is extremely difficult being responsible for so many people, and I dread it a lot. I always fantasize about how much easier my life would be if I only had myself to worry about, but would it?
Maybe my finances would be more stable if I did not have anyone else to cater to, but I would also be missing out on the rich bond and love I have developed with my family. That's something money cannot buy, and I cherish it a lot. So, I try to find a balance.
Finding balance means realizing your limitations and those of the people around you. It is knowing what you can give and take in any given situation; it is defining your boundaries and respecting those of other people.
One of the reasons I became so frustrated back then was because I took on more than I could handle. It is one of the downsides of being a first child. All my life, I have been told what was expected of me and how I need to show up for everyone but myself. This is why I get triggered when people make more demands of me. Rather than saying 'no,' I respond with anger.
Anger is only a coping mechanism. It doesn't address the fundamental mental problem. In the aforementioned cases, admitting my limitations and communicating that effectively is the right way to go.
There was nothing wrong with my family looking up to me, and there was also nothing wrong with me not meeting all their expectations. I also apply this logic when dealing with other people.
When engaging with someone who is going through a lot of emotional and physical stress, it is best to be empathetic. Most times, they are unable to communicate how they truly feel. Their emotions manifest in a way that reveals the truth. It is important to set healthy boundaries in such situations while still being kind and gentle.
I am grateful to my family for being understanding during my moments of weakness. I regret my behavior, and like I said, it was a difficult stage in my life which I scaled through thanks to the love and support I received from my family. That has helped me handle other issues in my life a lot better.
Life is already hard on all of us. We don't need to be hard on the next person, who often is someone we hold dear to our hearts. I know it is easier said than done, especially in those intense moments. Nevertheless, we need to find a way. Learn and unlearn. Cheers!