When was the first time you said "I love you" to someone in your life other than family? And tell us what your 'love language' is?
I remember reading this question and feeling a squeeze in my chest. It was like my heart was reminding me of the one time when its rhythm was for some other purpose beyond the pumping of blood; when its pulse harmonized with someone else's.
We met on the night I was waiting for my best friend/cousin outside the campus library. Earpods were embedded in my ears with me listening to my favorite music, my head slightly tilted against the wall, the soft breeze gently blowing and a soft smile on my face, when I felt a graze against my body.
I opened my eyes slowly, turned to the right and there he was. He could have sat down anywhere else, but for some reason, he decided to invade my personal space that night.
"You were so lost in your music, that I decided not to disturb you." Those were the first words that came out of his mouth. I tilted my head to the side to get a better look at him and he was hands down one of the most handsome guys I had seen on campus (granted I don't go out much, but still...)
He had caramel skin, a head full of hair, warm eyes that were hooded with full lashes and a boyish grin and charm. I replied to him with a "Well you did actually." His grin stretched, his eyes twinkled and my heart skipped a beat in that order. That was how I started falling for my best friend/cousin's ex.
Don't raise your eyebrows too high. I only found out he was her ex after constantly texting, calling and video calling each other every day for three weeks. By this time, we were already far gone for each other and had our language. In other words, it was already too late and I couldn't stop my descent into him no matter how hard I tried.
Now some may wonder how didn't I know he was my cousin's ex-boyfriend. Like how is that possible? Well during their course of dating, we never met. Not once. Even though we were all on the same campus, we were all in completely different departments. When I pestered her for a picture, I only got a glance, so his face was not registered in my brain.
When I found out he was the 'Femi' my cousin had a break up with months ago and was very much still in love with, I was completely shattered. I remember finding out during one of our silly conversations. We were both shocked at first, but later on he became flippant about the whole thing.
Over the phone, during one of our late-night calls after three of the best months I've ever had passed, I whispered with a guilt-ridden chest, "I don't think we should continue this." He sighed, "What is 'this' exactly?" I shook my head, "Don't play dumb Femi! You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"If you want to suggest we stop talking and going on dates, then don't. What we feel for each other is too real to throw away because I happened to date your cousin in the past."
"It may seem flimsy to you yh? But I can't break girls code. I simply cannot. She's my cousin, my best friend. I can't just do this to her!! Don't you get that, Femi?" I whisper yelled into the phone.
"So what? Do you want us to stop talking? Just like that? I love you, Nena! I love you. I certainly didn't plan on telling you like this, but I love you." I was stunned.
Maybe, just maybe if I had insisted on seeing Kewe's (my cousin) then-boyfriend, if I had held the phone and gotten a good look at his face, if I had asked for his full name our first time meeting, I wouldn't have felt like there's a dagger in my heart.
After a moment, I replied with tears streaming down my face "I love you too Femi. God, I love you. But I sincerely can't break Kewe's heart. I'm her only true friend and she'll be completely devastated." That moment was bittersweet and I never for once imagined that my first 'I love you' would be followed by my first heartbreak.
**MY LOVE LANGUAGE **
Well, it's safe to say with all that I've written above that my love language is quality time. I love connecting with people on a transcendental level. It makes it real. Genuine. Not that I hate receiving gifts or anything, but I feel they don't compare to the memories that one makes with a loved one.
What I treasure most are laughing, talking, going on dates, doing goofy things together, and just making memories. The simplest things. Because as we all know life happens. You never can tell what happens, in a moment with the one you hold dear the most.
My second love language is most definitely acts of service. I love it when my partner steps out of his comfort zone to make my day/life a little bit better. It could be the littlest of things like helping out on chores, on projects, or even helping to slice onions because he knows it's one of my least favourite tasks while I'm in the kitchen. Again, the simplest things, really!!
****Pictures generated from pix.lr and aestheticwallpaper@tiktok****
Thank you so much ladies for reading this. I had mixed feelings on sharing this. But I'm really glad I did and I hope you enjoyed reading!