Toxic relationships are more common than we would like to admit. I believe that relationships ought to be enjoyed, fun-filled and impactful rather than being harmful, filled with regrets and tears. But in most cases what we don't dream of seems to befall many of us.
The effects of toxic relationships cannot be over emphasized; because it only brings harm to one involved such as; anxiety, stress, depression, mood swings, low self-esteem, emotional numbness, and a feeling of being trapped and helpless. It also brings about social isolation, loneliness, difficulty in forming healthy relationships, difficulty in trusting others, decreased well-being and life satisfaction, and increases the risk of mental health disorders.
Unfortunately, I was in one myself, and It took me a long time to recognize that my relationship was unhealthy and even longer to find the strength and courage to leave it. Thus I get to learn a lot in the process of everything, and I'm grateful for the lessons.
I would love to say on a basic level
that any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time. Toxic relationships are not restricted to intimate relationships, they can exist in just about any context, from the playground, work environment, and you may even deal with toxic relationships even among family members.
It's only a toxic relationship that makes one feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked, and I would also add that a relationship is toxic when our well-being is threatened in some way emotionally, mentally, and even physically and if being involved in such, you ought to break out.
One might ask, why didn't you end it? I would say that most times things are easier said than done, this was my own experience. Despite my attempts to withdraw to protect my well-being and my mental health, my partner continued to plead to hold on that he will change, other times would blame me for the instability in our relationship, so I continue to manage till when I got fade up and took a bold step, stand firm with my decision, and that was it, i would say it wasn't an easy journey, because there were trait that came up, but i was willing to face it no matter what it might be.
Being in a toxic relationship caused my anxiety levels to skyrocket. I constantly got worried about what he would say next or do, to a point I don't allow his words and actions to hurt me anymore, because I had a choice to make.
As time passed, my anxiety and panic attacks became more intense, and I felt utterly exhausted and drained from the constant state of heightened anxiety, making it difficult to concentrate or focus on anything else, another thing was I was scared, scared of starting afresh, scared of what others would say, also created an environment where I felt trapped and unable to express myself or seek help when needed fully.
When I couldn't bear it anymore, I told myself, I'm the one in the shoes, so I understand vividly where it hurts and not them, that was the beginning of my bold decision to break out, and it came with courage, and also seeking help from friends.
It's important to note that seeking help or support and prioritizing our mental health should never be seen as a weakness or a problem, rather It’s okay to set boundaries to protect our well-being.
Some important lessons learned in the process:
a) Prioritizing our physical well-being: It’s easy to lose sight of our physical well-being in a toxic relationship, because we oftentimes get carried away by the situation, we ought to take care of ourselves first in all things, also remember that we deserve to prioritize our health and happiness, because money cannot buy them nor fix them.
b) Remember that we deserve better: No one deserves to be in a toxic relationship, we deserve to be with someone who treats us with love and respect. Respect in a relationship goes beyond mere fidelity. It entails honoring our partner’s opinions and allowing them to express themselves, communicating respectfully and avoiding behaviors or actions that may cause them distress or hurt.
c)Seek help and support: There are certain things that cannot be handled alone, such as being in a toxic relationship, we shouldn't be afraid to contact friends or family for help. Having a support system can make all the difference in building courage, strength and boldness in breaking out.
In all, we ought always to remember that you deserve respect and kindness, never blame yourself for being in a toxic relationship because it's not your fault, and if willing to break out help is available, and with self-care you can heal and move forward, only make up your mind and take a bold step.
Thank you for reading to the end ♥️
I still remain @pricelessudy