Ultimately, who we are which is referred to as 'identity' is shaped by how we perceive ourselves. In other words, a person's identity is a result of the combination of certain factors; personal traits, values, social roles, relationships, life experiences, cultural background and aspirations.
It's not a new thing to say again that I am an introvert and that is one identity of mine that has shaped who I am up till this present moment, the kind of relationship I am involved with, the people I associate and interact with and my aspirations in life. One thing about me is how I have always enjoyed and loved my solitude, and for many years, I have found myself being surrounded by just a few people who have a common interest as I have and who we can flow together on a common ground.
I find it difficult to fit in with some kind of person especially the ones who do not have a goal or aspirations as they tend not to have discovered what they can do or simply put, their passion for life. These kind of people, I have seen and lived with that it becomes hard to even relate with them because no matter what I do or say, they aren't pushed to become better.
Introverts like me find it draining to be around a large group socialising which makes it harder to fit in, especially in environments that prioritise extroverted behaviours like attending parties, networking events or in loud places. However, it is worth taking note that introverts value strong relationships on a deeper level.
They derived happiness forming meaningful connections even if in a smaller group but intimate settings. This is one thing that I look out for as I have made up my mind that if I only have just a few friends maybe 4 to 5 people who I can share my experiences with, bond with on a deeper level and in the end have a meaningful conversation, I am okay with it.
I love sharing my experiences with the few around me who can also relate and give their tips about life and their aspirations in life. This relationship has a lot of benefits one will get from the other person, thereby valuing opportunities that would make them grow. Though I may be an introvert who does not associate easily with everyone around me, I still try my best to look out for opportunities which won't sap my energy, coming across new knowledge and embracing personal development.
Rather than being influenced by external social pressures, I try to go into self-reflection. I spend a lot of time reflecting on my thoughts and feelings. This process helps me understand my values, beliefs and aspirations. Self-reflection is an effective therapy that helps one discover their identity and this is something I do not fail to do every moment in my life.
This introspection allows introverts to build an identity that feels so authentic thereby giving them the confidence to be who they truly are instead of conforming to social pressures around them.
Another thing that speaks of my identity is how I take my time in selecting the right type of people that I move with. I don't just go out with anyhow person but with someone I can learn from, who has experiences which I can take some tips from and someone willing to keep trying new things. They say time is precious and who we spend it with or where we go determines how good and meaningful life will be for us. Spending time with fools would make me one, so why not use the time judiciously where I can gain a lot from?
The environment also matters in shaping who an individual is. When I wanted to rent my current apartment, I went for a quiet area instead of a noisy place where I wouldn't enjoy it. The man who helped me find this apartment asked if I would cope being alone as a young lady and I nodded in the positive because it was exactly what I wanted — a peaceful area where I would be able to focus and concentrate on being productive rather than being in an environment where I would be listening to unnecessary gist or talks especially early in the morning. This was what I faced while in school and being in a toxic environment and I decided not to go through such again.
I may be this gentle and quiet person but I value who I am as such a personality helps me focus on what truly matters, looking out for relationships that prioritise deeper and meaningful interactions while learning from each other, and lastly, letting me go through self-reflection to understand more about my strengths and weaknesses as I look out for opportunities to better my life and give me the best life has to offer.
This post was inspired by the #inleo community and this is my entry for Day 7 of the September Inleo Initiative
Images belong to me
Thanks for your time reading. Looking forward to your interaction.
