Love is a beautiful thing to experience. It is what I have seen and heard for many years now and I cannot agree less to it. However, there is no relationship without its downsides too because something we ought to understand is that when two people come together to start a relationship, they come with different opinions, mindsets, thoughts, behaviours and most importantly, different cultural backgrounds.
A partner could come from a culture where they love and cherish their other half while another may come from where it is believed that no such thing happens especially from the male gender because, to them, they are seen as fools when they show too much love to their girlfriends or women. It only takes time to show them the true side of love and make them believe love should be meant to be reciprocated and nurtured to have a lasting impact on them.
Love is sweet when you are with someone who understands you, loves you and would do anything to win you over. Love is amazing when you are just with the one ordained to you. There isn't love where two partners do not enjoy each other. There is no love when partners aren't in agreement or not coming together to compromise on some things. When there is love, you truly matter to the other person and no matter what happens, they will always make time for you.
I have, many times read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman and what I could deduce from the book is that, to enjoy a long-lasting relationship, you have to understand each other. You have to be committed to each other, learn about each other and most importantly, it should be about the word "US" and not 'You' or 'I' anymore. Things should be done together, of course with trust being one of the criteria of a successful relationship.
I have had many relationships in the past and all I could say is that I never enjoyed any because I was the only one doing it all. I mean, I was the only one being committed and sacrificing a lot of things without any of the guys showing seriousness in the relationship. The first guy I dated for four years, I stole a lot from my mom to satisfy him and that was because I loved him but when I saw how foolish I was, I stopped.
They say love makes one do the foolish thing that shouldn't be heard of, but I would say it shouldn't be like that because love should be about both partners coming together to do it right and not leaving it to one person making them feel they are just too desperate to enter into one. It took me years to understand that being desperate to be in a relationship will only make the other partner take advantage of you.
Can two walk together except they agree? They cannot agree if the communication isn't straightforward. If both partners cannot come to a solid agreement through their interaction, there cannot be a way forward. For most divorces I have heard and seen, the cause is not laying the foundation right from the beginning or defining what they want from the start. This is why you see most couples, after a few years, start having issues that cannot be resolved and that is because a lot entered with love blinding them to sit down to discuss major aspects of their lives.
It is very difficult to understand someone from a different background unless there is an agreement between them and that could be achieved through the process of communication. Many marriages fail because of a lack of commitment to one another because they are only after a particular thing and once it is achieved, they tend to get tired and different issues will start showing up making it hard to continue and in the end, it leads to divorce.
Every marriage should be based on some principles which are love being the first, submission, respect, humility, loyalty, trust, obedience and so on. When a partner is not ready to be submissive, especially the woman to her husband, it becomes hard to make peace between them and when a man does not show loyalty and humility, thinking because he is the man, he can control her to satisfy his desires, then things would go hard between them.
Though I might not know everything about marriage, I have read, seen and know about what it entails to make peace. It is hard to change someone because just like I said, we are from different cultures and what one likes is different from the other, it's all about compromise to make things work out well.
My ex-partners, the similarity between them was that they wanted to control and have a say without giving me a chance to express mine. So, when I get married to either one of them, it becomes trouble when he wants to control me into doing what he want and not what I want or what satisfies me, it is the reason I broke up and hoped the right person would come for me.
Right now, I am not in love and I need love. I want someone who will understand me, willing to compromise in order to be on a win-win level and not someone who would want to exert his power and control on me thinking he is the man while as a woman, I won't be able to defend myself or even express my opinion on certain things in the home.
A relationship is meant to love and be committed to one another and not one that makes you cry every day. A relationship is meant to sacrifice for each other to enjoy yourselves. A relationship is meant to help each other grow like a gardener with care tending to his plants and flowers, watering them daily to grow and nourish them. This is what a relationship should be.
When you are in the right place with a partner, no matter the misunderstandings and challenges, both partners will always work it out and not think divorce is the solution. This only happens when you are with the wrong person.
April Inleo Monthly Calendar
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