We all go through a phase in life where we feel that saying yes is a good habit, and if someone asks us to do some work, we say yes. If a friend asks us to go out, we say yes. If the office asks us to do extra work, we say yes. And initially, all this seems fine. But gradually, when saying yes becomes a burden in our own lives, then we understand how important it is to say yes.
From childhood, we are taught to listen to everyone, don't break anyone's heart, don't refuse anyone, and no one has ever said that if we lie to ourselves to make someone else happy, then one day we become strangers to ourselves and saying no is not just breaking someone's heart. It is a way to understand yourself. Understanding your practice is to respect your time and energy, and many times, people say yes just because they think that if they say yes or refuse, the other person will get angry. And have I ever thought that by saying yes every time, I cross my boundaries, and it is difficult to make everyone happy, and if we keep doing this, then we become unhappy? And when you say something, you give importance to yourself and not to anyone else.
What I am saying is a skill, and just like learning a new skill takes time, similarly this also requires practice, and when you refuse someone for the first time, you feel guilty and think that maybe I did something wrong, but when you see that after saying no, you have time for yourself and feel mentally relaxed. Then you understand that this decision was right, and guilt slowly turns into self-respect.
Many people think that saying no will take away opportunities. These people will go away, and this is just an illusion. People who understand your value will also understand your needs, and you should stay away from those who do things for their benefit. Saying yes every time becomes a reason for burnout in the long term. Therefore, saying yes to avoid short-term guilt becomes a reason for long-term pain, and there should be a balance in life. There should be balance in every work, every relationship, every decision and this can only happen when you understand your practice and when you can take out time for yourself, pay attention to your calling and saying no helps you to maintain this balance and only when you pay attention to yourself, you will be able to become a better version of yourself for others.
There is a limit to saying yes to something else. When you say yes to someone for a useless meeting, you are essentially saying yes to your creative work. Similarly, when you say yes to an energy-draining event, you are saying yes to your mental peace. This perspective is very important. Because saying what you don't feel like saying is one thing. Saying yes for yourself is another thing.
Sometimes we feel that people will judge us, and if we refuse, people judge us anyway. Whether you do something or not, why not do something that is right for us first and when you speak with clarity. If you speak clearly about what you want to do, why, and what you don't, then you also protect your emotions. You avoid any forced situations, and you maintain your peace.
Self-love does not only mean pampering or going to the spa, but it also means that you can make uncomfortable decisions for yourself, and when you say no to a toxic relationship, or an unhealthy or healthy habit, only then are you really doing self-care. By saying no every time, you create a safe space for yourself where you can focus on your growth and start practising a little from today itself. Understand the situation, the logic, say no to people respectfully and start saying no and create a space for yourself. Understand the value of your time and protect peace for yourself. All this will be possible only when you learn to say what you want and run after it. Sometimes saying what you want is also a big gift for yourself.
Lastly, what I want to say is that this is a power that everyone has, but not everyone can use it, and this power makes your decision stronger. It shortens your life, sorts i and it will feel a little uncomfortable at first. But gradually it will become your stand, and when you start taking a stand for yourself, then the world will start taking you seriously and you are the driver of your life, and sometimes applying the brakes is as important as giving the accelerator.