Problem
I can say that I had a terrible amount of fear of high places. I remember when I was little and lived in a 10-story building that we played a game of punishments and one of my opponents' favorite punishments (and they won too often) was to make us go up on the block and signal them, by hand, waving. The punishment was that you had to walk up to the 10th floor, but I was actually terrified of the final part, the one with the roof. Much later, when we were already in high school, we went to a friend who lived on the 9th floor and who kindly invited us to the balcony. I was the only one left in the kitchen and I talked to them from a distance. Luckily they were close friends, otherwise, I think they would have laughed at me. Already, at that moment, I knew for sure that I had a problem.
Exposure
I started studying how to deal with the fear of heights. But I generally found about two lines and those little explained. All I found was the fact that you have to expose yourself to your fears as often as possible. Okay, if we have to, that's what we do. And for a few years, I tried to get closer to everything that means height. If someone had to climb a high ladder, I would volunteer, even though my panties were shaking. If someone had to bend over the railing to stick a poster, I volunteered and hoped that my fear was over and that I would not have to start all over again. No luck!
My recommendations for the exposure technique
If you want to use exposure as a method to eliminate phobia, then I recommend that you talk to your best friend and ask him to be with you when you voluntarily expose yourself to the source of the phobia. He or she must be a person to whom you can entrust your life without hesitation. Most of the time, when a panic occurs, you feel like you are losing control. That's why it's very important to have someone you trust next to you. It will be for you as a lifeline, like a lighthouse that shows you the shore. In addition, if you somehow lose control, you must know for sure that it will help you in those moments.
I STARTED CRYING IN THE PLANE, BEFORE IT TOOK OFF, IN MY LAST TRIP TO PARIS....PEOPLE WERE LOOKING AT ME...But my best friend was there for me and It mattered so much!
👉I do not want to talk about the effectiveness of this method, I am convinced that it is efficient, but it is not the only effective one.
Mental self-control technique
Does it make sense to repeat all the signs of a phobia crisis?
A few years ago we went to the mountains to see a cave. My friends "forgot" to tell me that we must pass an abyss. Said and done. Before entering that path, I stopped and relaxed, did a breathing technique, and focused on my thoughts. Then I walked in line with them, concentrating not on the landscape, but only on my breathing and my mind. If somehow I felt thoughts of fear start to appear, I would start laughing at them. In addition, I used a "mantra", meaning a phrase that I repeated in my mind to calm me down. I'm telling you the phrase, but you'll have to make your own because it may not work the same for everyone. My mantra was, "My mind is calm and completely still." I was trying to imprint the state of stillness of the mind because the speed with which I was unfolding thoughts was enormous. And they were not the most lively thoughts. If you want, I can help you create your own mental mantra. It is very important to choose the right words and their order as well. Some words have a different connotation for the subconscious than the one we expect. And make sure there is no negation in that sentence.
Anchoring the state of relaxation
Relax, this is the most important step you have to take in the fight against phobias. Find a relaxation method that is right for you and put it into practice as often as possible, so that it becomes your habit. When we are afraid, we are completely contracted. Relaxation must counteract this.
If you get used to relaxing quickly, it's an extra step you can take to control your phobia. If you are relaxed, the mind is easier to control. And that's exactly what you want, to control your mind.
Instead of conclusion
I talked more about the fear of heights, but most phobias have the same methods of therapy. Exposure is a universal method, self-control of thoughts is also necessary for any form of fear or phobia.
Do not think that if you do these methods, the fear disappears completely from the beginning. Depending on each, the duration to completely treat the phobia may differ from months to years. Be careful not to get tired or stressed when exposing yourself to the source of your phobia. Fatigue and stress decrease your mind control and relaxation ability. I can now control my mind when I am put in a situation I was afraid of before. But I always prepare first. I rest and relax my mind and body. Every time the opportunity for a new height experience arises, I live it with pleasure, I learn about myself on every occasion.
Those who do not suffer from any phobia probably do not consider this information important. But I would like to know what do those who face various phobias think? What other methods have they tried? What were the results?
I look forward to your comments and suggestions. 🔶💜💗
@regenerette thanks you for reading!
