While having a coffee with my friend today, we were talking about a mutual person we know and how he is the only one who could turn a situation in his favour, where everyone would have had sympathy for him, around to become the asshole. His wife had cheated on him and in her guilt, was just going to give him pretty much everything in the divorce. However, this wasn't enough for him and instead he went on a very public campaign to destroy the person who he had up until recently, claimed he loved. What would have been a pretty easy divorce, become a very messy legal fight, that not only cost the wife, but meant that the guy had to leave the country with bad debt - instead of pocketing a large amount of money, and walking away on the higher moral ground.
What has fairness got to do with it?
Well, for anyone who has gone through a divorce, most will say that they want it to be "fair". However, what they really mean is that they want the other person to suffer as much as they are suffering. The guy would have got more than fair in terms of assets in the case mentioned above, but because his ego was hurt and he is a narcissist, that wasn't fair enough for him. He wanted to inflict pain on his ex-wife, even it meant ruining the relationship with their daughter.
Do you see the problem with fair?
Fair is an opinion.
Let's say I have a cake and cut a slice for my daughter and I. What is a fair size for each? I weigh four times as much as her, so should mine be four times larger? Or should mine be smaller because her metabolism will burn it off faster, and she is a growing child? Or perhaps it should be based on our level of experience, and since I have eaten more cake than her, I am more qualified to eat a larger piece? Or perhaps it should be because I am stronger, I can take what I want and give her what I want?
There is no absolute right answer to a question of fairness, because it always depends on what the denominator used is going to be, and that is subjective. Some people think that revenge is perfectly acceptable behaviour when they have been hurt in a relationship. Others think revenge is fucking childish behaviour at all times.
I think you can guess which side of the fence I am on with that.
And for instance on Hive when it comes to vote distribution, there are questions of effort and quality, which are also subjective. Someone can put in a lot of effort and still create a shitty post no one wants to read. Another can put in little effort and create something awesome that people love. Which deserves more of the reward pool? And before you answer, consider that the reason that some people can create more easily than others, is because they have the experience to be able to do so. The life experience, the writing experience, and the ability to create through, you guessed it, their experience.
I posted this the other day in a comment to someone as we were talking about some badge. What that image shows is the badges I have got for consistency. That is 435 weeks of a post each day of the week. 98 months, where I haven't missed a day in the month. and 7 years and on track for 8 of posting daily for a year straight. In fact by now, I haven't missed a day for eight years, but it counts in whole years only.
Writing comes easily for me.
Fair?
I am pretty bloody sure that if someone else practiced writing this consistently, they too would find that it was now pretty easy for them. It is the same with any skill and if I had instead put my effort into playing golf, or flipping bottles - I would be pretty good at that as well. Now though, when I write an article that no one else can write because it comes from my own experiences in life and my perspectives and opinions, is it fair that it is easier for me than for you?
"It's not fair! That guy who trains hard in the gym six days a week and watches what he eats for every meal has a six pack, and I do none of those things and don't!"
You see, experience matters in pretty much everything. Someone with the right experience would have walked away from that relationship with an amicable divorce and moved on in separate ways. They would have been mature enough to recognise that they loved the person once, and just because things have changed, that love doesn't have to become revengeful hate. They could have moved on to something different, maybe even better, instead of living in the past with toxicity in the heart and mind.
There is no fair in humanity.
In nature, everything is fair. Energy in, energy out. That energy can change form, but can't be created or destroyed. Everything that energy does however, and how it effects us physically, psychologically and emotionally, well - that is another story. Our thoughts and feelings are volatile and one experience can have different levels of impact on various people, or at different times. The most significant and meaningful event for one, is insignificant and meaningless for another - even though the energy transfer is identical.
And this is the problem for the concept of fair in society, or on Hive, or anywhere we want to apply it. Because the base of fair, and the weighting applied, is going to change depending on the individual who is doing the evaluation. They are going to see unfairness where another sees fairness, and fairness where another sees unfairness.
And remember, your emotions are your emotions.
If you are hurt, even if it is in some terrible way like being cheated on, or abused, the cause of your hurt might not be yours, but the response to the hurt is. You are responsible for your feelings, and the actions born from them. You can think something is unfair, and you can voice your opinion, but it is just that - an opinion. And since you can't have the experience of anyone else but yourself, nor have the inherited traits of another, if you are going to compare your effort to that of others, at least make sure you are on the same page, that you are using the same denominator.
After this, I will have added 7094 articles to this blockchain. All of them have effort involved, thought involved, my opinions, my perspectives, my understanding and my lack of understanding. They are filled with a lifetime of experience that might be limited for many, or a lot for many, but I have seen plenty, been plenty, moved plenty, observed plenty, hurt plenty, suffered plenty, laughed plenty, and loved plenty.
Writing is easy.
But in my experience, getting the experience is not.
Opinions are never fair.
Taraz
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