It was watershed moment for Smallsteps today. Because it was the day where we cleaned her room in preparation for her to become a "big girl" - putting away the baby toys, cleaning out drawers in preparation for her new school, and generally going through every box, draw and cupboard in her room, to extricate all the random notes and bits of cut up paper and card, and pencil shavings and pens and markers that don't work, thread and wool, and half-finished crochet - and a million random little bits and pieces that just had no need to be there.
It took some time.
But it was family time together, since all three of us worked in the room, pulling out stuff, going through, and separating it into piles. For the most part, it went quite smoothly, though Smallsteps was a little worried we were getting rid of too much. She went through her soft toys, listed them all and wrote their names in her diary, so that she can remember for later. But in the end, two-thirds of them will go into storage. To the disappointment of my wife, some of the ones being packed up, are the soft toys from when Smallsteps was a baby.
Maturing is hard on the parents too.
None of this stuff (other than the four billion scraps of cut paper) will go into the bin, as it will either be passed on to family who might be expecting in the nearish future, or handed over to charity to bring joy to other children. Some of it will also go back to the original owners, who leant it to us, but will want it for their grandkids and the like. Smallsteps is very good with looking after her things and pretty much everything she owns is in good condition.
While it was nice family time cleaning the room, it got me thinking back to when I was her age and how I don't remember my parents ever helping me clean my room. I am pretty sure that from a young age, I was on my own. By that age, I was also doing my own laundry and often preparing my meals. Yes, that was likely not that normal at the time and maybe inappropriate, but it was normal for me.
I think my parents missed out on a lot.
People mostly talk about all the things that are missed by having children, but I think that a massive amount is missed by not having children. Also, a lot is missed by parents who choose to do other things instead of spending time with their kids, doing the "boring stuff" like cleaning a room. It is the same with parents who don't sit and play with their kids on the floor, or board games. Or those that put a screen in front of their children's face at a café or restaurant.
They are missing out.
But sure, there are better things that could have been done today than cleaning a room, but there was an ulterior motive for it too. Because as an early birthday present for Smallsteps, we have bought her a new bed. A proper bed. It is larger, higher and will be good enough to stay with her for years to come. The only reason we are doing it now and instead of on her birthday, is that we caught it on sale at 70% off, and it had to be delivered soonish.
I think she is going to love it.
We are all meant to grow up sometime. But if we can never let go of what we have from the past, how are we meant to build anything new for the future? Maybe that should be explored at another time than this article.
Taraz
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