Efficiency
I love being efficient and I really enjoy the smooth flow I'm working in when everything goes according to plan all day as well as I feel I'm moving mountains of work. I also absolutely hate it whenever this state of efficiency is slowly fading, no matter if this is due to my own determination at that point or reasons that I can't really control much myself.
Motivation
I'm always trying to be motivational towards myself, telling myself that I can do better and repeating certain quotes to myself or writing them down to remind me of the fact that things often aren't that complicated as I can make them in my mind. This helps me and therefore I have this blackboard on my wall where I write down some positive things to remind me of my goals today and mostly that I can do it. I don't always succeed, but I noticed that it truly helps and also brings a smile to my face whenever I read it.
Health issues
Last week I was forced to change my work routine because I could not continue any longer. My suspected carpal tunnel syndrome forced me to only work short periods of time as well and I had to build in a lot of rest in between. I admit, it was hard for me as I don't like to slow down and I'm stubborn. To be honest, at some point, I could not use my hand anymore and had to stop typing. I used speech to text for a few blogs, but once the pain was a bit gone, I switched to typing again, leaving me with a lot of pain again today. Note to self: use speech to text for the bigger parts of the content and only correct and finish it up by using your hands for the time being. It's an adjustment I have to build into my routine, but at least I'm trying.
Thankfully, the bad reaction to the meds I got from the doctor seem gone now so I'm only left with a painful hand/arm because I don't use the prednisone anymore. I'm hopeful that within a few days the tumeric paste brings me some relief for the inflammation.
Every downside has an upside
When the pain was bad enough, I stopped overusing my hand and actually took rest for it. As soon as the pain is less, I will overdo it again, I need to be more gentile to myself and be more efficient so that I won't have to be annoyed for slowing down as I got everything done already. So I'm learning through these experiences of the past weeks and hoping that everything goes smoother in a few weeks.
Plans for Halloween went to dust
I had these plans on crafting and selling some Halloween stuff but I had to let that idea go last week. It's not realistic and will only bring expectations to myself that I can't meet, therefore I will only focus on the jobs that I already have and all the rest I can do is bonus. Maybe the Christmas ideas are still in the running, but not going to focus on it too much yet to avoid disappointment when the arm will not cooperate. Baby steps it is.
Taking advantage of the morning flow
Today I took advantage of the non-painful hours I had by getting a lot of things on my to-do list out of the way. I can't deny that some work piled up, and I did my best to catch up on that this morning. I have to say, for CineTV it was a nice round as I managed to plan most social content ahead for the next week, giving me a breather in case I need it. It felt good to get quite some things off my list to be honest as I really missed being productive when I had to rest. I also managed to get some emails out that needed to be sent and even though I'm now facing a lot of pain since I stopped working hours ago, I still feel my day was worth it.
No work also means no money
The thing that I struggle with the most to let go of stuff is simply the "no work = no money" side of this. Where employed people have social security benefits, I simply don't. And with us wanting to save up for a car to bring some relief in our daily life, it's been difficult to say sooner that I needed a little break some days and simply had to postpone some things as the pain got the best of me.
I can't deny that I should put health first, but I also can't deny the fact that not having the transportation is adding to the stress in crisis moments either. Last week, when I thought I needed to go to the emergencies for my rising blood pressure, I soon realized that my boyfriend could not just drive me to the preferred hospital easily. We would have to pick on easily accessed by bus, so that I could come home without too much stress in case of getting admitted. It's not luxury that I'm after, just a car that drives will do, for these moments like last week, it would have saved me a lot of stress about the logistics. But hey, that's the story of most people who are not working for a boss.
Savings for the (near) future
As we had a lot of costs moving countries as well as settling down here, the savings ran dry and we had to start saving all over again. Although I managed to refill the savings a bit last month, it's still not a great feeling that in case anything expensive needs to be paid for, I may not be able to cover it, depending on how big the costs are. So therefore my first focus now is to refill the savings to the point that we can hunt for a (cheap) car to get us moving here as well as still have some funds on the side in case needed.
Looking for the perfect balance
This also means that I have to work, simple as that, I know my boyfriend easily tells me to just stop working and let it heal even if that means a week no pay, but for me personally, that's honestly just not optional, I will blame myself for the loss of income. Therefore, a healthy balance and more efficiency is where I'm looking for so that I can rest my hand/arm enough as well as get my work done.
Only time can tell how this will evolve, for now, I'm just trying to force some new routine on myself and deal with the rest as it comes to my path. I will have to wait until the half of November for my scan so until then, I will not be certain about a diagnosis or treatment and can only help myself as good as I can. At least I'm taking it a bit more serious in terms of not wasting time but be productive and efficient, so we're moving forward at least!
Have you faced similar struggles? How did you deal with them? Thanks for reading!