It takes a lot of time to build trust, and it's one of the hardest things to let out, and that's because it can be shattered within a moment. While I'm the kind of person who gives others the benefit of the doubt, I won't say it's easy for me to trust anyone, even if we're close, but in the long run, given the shared connection and experience, I might go on to trust, which is very rare. I remember one time when someone I trusted left me disappointed; it was a painful pill to swallow, and that experience made it more difficult for me to trust people, as it taught me a painful yet necessary lesson.
I remember some years ago when I was in a relationship, as it's one of the expectations of being in such to trust each other, I did trust my partner, and I could predict what she could do and not do, thinking that I knew her fully well, unknown to me that all that I saw or all that was open to me was just a façade to play on my intelligence, but I went on to find out on a painful note, and these left me disappointed to the point of abstaining from anything that has to do with love.
I remember when we were in the early stage of our relationship, she told me of her desire to abstain from sex until her wedding night, and since she's someone I truly loved with all my heart, I didn't see any big deal in that , as I went on to oblige to it and said it's fine, that we can both wait till when it's right, and things proceeded in the relationship smoothly, as I was happy to be in love and know that I'm being loved in return. However, during the course of our relationship, I remember how much friends used to tell me that the lady in question is wayward, and I'm like, That's not possible.
The relationship continued for many years until I went for the mandatory one-year service in the far north, leaving my love behind in Lagos, but yet we kept on communicating. I remember during one of those days of me being in the north, I decided to pay her a surprise visit, as we've both missed each other and have on several occasions talked about wishing we could get to see each other. That fateful day I was chatting with her to know her movements, and I remember her telling me she's home alone and has no plans of going out, so I embark on the journey.
On getting to her place from my journey, with the intention of surprising her with my visit, I ended up being the one who was surprised because of what I heard at the doorpost and what I saw when I stepped inside. It was quite disheartening and painful to see someone I trusted and loved in such a state. Come to think of it, the sex position I found them in signals that it's definitely not her being forced or raped. She came out and started trying to explain things, which I'm not even interested in listening to. I ended up walking away, and that was the last time we ever met in person despite all her attempts to resolve things between us.
That every experience changed something in me, making me take a stand against anything that has to do with love, I became wiser and shifted my attention and affection towards other things. Going forward, I started drawing boundaries between me and any lady, especially when I know you're single, and peradventure I find myself getting attached to you, I'll just walk away and stop reaching out so that such feelings would be crushed in the long run. I've learned that trust isn't just given; it's something that must be earned and nurtured day by day.
All photos are taken and edited on canva.