Although the natural instinct to help those in need is an admirable act, still it's worth noting that there's a need to set boundaries when such requests get to a particular point or stage. I for one love to help the needy, and seeing their needs met usually gives me joy, and given my love to help others, sometimes I even render help at my own expense, but given the occurrence that follows such, I've now learned, and today I'll be telling you the circumstances that can make me turn down the advance of rendering help to the needy.
Giving is a good thing, and we humans must indulge in this habit to help those in need and, in the process, eradicate hunger and poverty. Being the cheerful giver that I am, I sometimes forget my own plight just so I can help others. Sometimes, even when I know all I've got is my last cash, you might find me giving it out to someone else and start hoping for a miracle to meet my own needs.
After doing this consistency for a while and seeing its repercussions, I've come to learn that we can't always help everyone and must know when to say no. Giving to people sometimes can lead to them taking advantage of one, and given my last experience, I vowed to look out for myself as much as I want to help someone. If that'll in any way affect me now or in the near future, then I'd rather abstain from rendering such help than to render it and face the consequences.
Take, for instance, that a few months ago, while we were on holiday, I was sick and was bedridden for two days. This cost me a lot financially, and while still wondering how I'd survive the next few weeks before my wages would be paid, a friend of mine called me and explained his ordeal of needing some money urgently. I told him I wish I could help, but I myself am broke due to my illness, but he kept on pleading.
To cut the long story short, I ended up borrowing money from someone else to give him, since he told me he'd be returning all the money back that weekend. Once I lent him the money, he didn't even reach out to me for the next three weeks, despite saying he'd refund in 5 days. To cut the long story short, he later refunded 30 percent of the money, and after that day, it's been over 3 months and I'm yet to receive a single message from him, either to refund or apologize.
This kind of annoys me, and given the fact that I don't know how to trouble someone about returning something I lent them, I decided I won't be going out of my way to help anyone again. I mean, I remember telling this guy I'm borrowing the money from someone else, and yet he doesn't even care to pay it back till date.
So with that being said, the situation that'll make me set boundaries from helping someone is related to that above, and when such a person continuously seeks help over and over again, in such a case, it's like they've seen it as sometimes that's their right to get from me, and if one doesn't set a boundary, they won't make any effort to work, but instead be at peace that there's someone they can always meet for help anytime they need something.
This doesn't mean I won't be helping again; it's only an indication that I'll be more conscious and know when to say no, because helping at my own expense will only make life difficult for me, and that's not something I want; helping shouldn't lead to me lacking; instead, I should give because I'm in abundance and won't suffer to provide for myself because I want to help others.
All photos are mine.