Fear is a state of mind or emotion that's deeply rooted in our mental health and well-being, despite being despised by many, yet it plays a huge role in every individual's life as it helps us stay away from anything that poses a threat to us, regardless of whether such is a mere imagination or real. Our fear stands like each individual's last line of defense against things we're not comfortable with, and when it comes to facing our fears, it's never an easy task, but being able to face it and sail through it brings about liberation into our lives to journey through tough grounds without having to waver again like we've done in the past when such fear still exists.
Everyone around the world has something they're afraid of, be it a fear of rejection, failure, height, or the like. We all have it, although some of us have tamed our bodies to show no signs of it, especially not making it visible to those around us, because if our fear is made known to some set of people, then they can end up using it against us, thereby making us vulnerable. So regardless of how someone seems to be fearless, deep down they've got something they're afraid of that eats them up, especially when they're by themselves in a secluded place.
I for one have loads of fears despite acting or portraying myself as a hard guy, and while some of these fears have been successfully faced and overcome, others still eat me up on a daily basis, and I'm still in the stage of looking for how to face and overcome them, which is quite a difficult thing to do. I remember having cyclophobia for over 20 years and staying away from anything that had to do with riding.
Luckily, something was able to inspire me to face this fear and overcome it later on in life, despite the length of time that fear held me down. Well, that isn't the experience I'll be sharing today, but if you'd love to read about it, you can click on this link. So without further ado, let's get into the actual fear, how I've been dealing with it, and how it's been difficult to move on. In the later part, I'll also be sharing if I've been able to overcome this fear.
A few years ago, when I was an undergraduate at the university, I used to have thanatophobia, which is a fear of losing our loved ones to death. Yeah, I know you might be wondering why I would have such fear at that young age. Well, it happens that if you've been following my blog, you'll know I grew up with my grandparents, and since moving there, I've had no course to leave from starting elementary school to going to university, except for a few vacation trips to spend time with my family or other relatives.
But within that period, as time goes on, I can obviously see that my grandparents are becoming frail by the day as they get older, meaning they can't handle most of what they could when I was much younger, so I tried as much as possible to always be there for them, helping them get all necessary tasks done so they wouldn't strain themselves. But fast forward to when I gain admission into the university, I have to travel several miles away from them to study there, thereby leaving them by themselves to cater for themselves, doing all I usually help them with.
I remember calling my parents and uncles to let someone go stay with them during those periods, and if no one is willing to release their child, they can as well let them move in to staying with one of them or employing a housekeeper to help them out. All of this falls into the deaf ears, or should I just say nothing positive happens towards my plea?
I had no choice but to keep calling to find out about their well-being and as well begging some of my friends who still reside in that neighborhood to go help them out, and that's like how I sail through my university days, living with fear and concern for their well-being because I've seen them as my actual parents, being the ones who raised me from the time I can differentiate between my left and my right.
And with that awareness, I had vowed and planned to give them the best of everything once I graduated from university. Unfortunately for me, what I dreaded most happened when I was in my final year of university: grandpa called me informing me or how grandma had passed on in her sleep, and I just couldn't contain the pain of seeing something I fear playing out, even my grandfather, who used to be very firm and agile despite being over 100 sounds lost, hurt, and distance on the phone.
This happened during my first semester exams, and for like 2 days I couldn't eat and wasn't even in the right frame of mind to read, but I was just lucky my previous studies prior to the exam came in handy to help me have something to write down and pass each course. After losing my grandmother, I became lost, afraid that Grandpa too would soon leave me behind. On one of those days, when I was sitting down, lost in thought, in front of her grave, Grandpa walked up to me and sat beside me.
We had some heart-to-heart discussions where he was letting me know that such a thing is bound to happen and I shouldn't let it hit me or hold me down from thinking straight and put my life journey to a halt. He let me know I still have a long journey ahead of me, so I should brace myself and move on. He then went on to share his personal experience of losing his parents at a tender age, including how he was the firstborn and had to cater for all his siblings at that tender age.
He let me know that if he had held on to his fear of what his life would be like now that his parents weren't around, he wouldn't have been able to achieve half of what he did in his life. Despite all of those fears, I was able to brace up, understanding that death is part of life and we shouldn't let it dent our dreams or put our life journey to a halt.
After about a year, Grandpa too passed on, and though I was hurt by his death too, by then I had understood better, and his words lingered in my heart throughout that period to help me sail through the fear and hurt.
That's all about my fears, the journey through them, how I sail through them, and much more. I hope you enjoyed the read. Have a wonderful day ahead, and stay blessed.
LEO POWER UP DAY
As we all know, every 15th of the month is another time to power up the Leo token, and today, to show my commitment to what is being done by the Inleo team on the hive blockchain, I can't help but once again power up some Leo tokens. Through the month, I've seen the mind-blowing development the team is putting in place, which is not only changing the face of hive but bettering it and making it a force to be reckoned with by top blockchain and projects across the web2 and web3 spaces.
We've seen the improvements in the interface, the premium subscription that offers mind-blowing abilities that take blogging, microblogging, and the like to another level; we've seen the new face of Leodex making translation more seamless, fast, and cheaper; these and many more are what are being integrated that make me love what's going on with Inleo, and that's not to talk about how the tribe token Leo is one of the best tokens doing well on the hive blockchain and cryptocurrency at large.
Today I powered up a total of 250 Leo tokens, and that has increased my Leo power to 1713. I'm total; link to this transaction can be found here on hiveblocks; hopefully I'll get to 5000 before the year runs out.
This is my entry for #aprilinleo day 15 for the Inleo initiative. You can also join us by reading all the details in the announcement post.
Last Image is a screenshot from Inleo front-end, while others are Thumbnails designed on canva