Mind reading is one thing many of us have fantasies about, and since seeing this prompt, I've been imagining myself finding out that someone I'm in a relationship with, with whom I've shared laughter, cried with, and even trusted with my heart, has been reading my mind the whole time. It's not like they're guessing, but they know and hear every single thought that runs through my head, including ones I'm not ready to share. It's just crazy thinking that all my lies, doubts, and half-truths I've ever told were known to her. If that were to be true, I'd have a mix of shock and betrayal.
I'm having such a reaction not because of the ability they had, but because they chose to keep it from me. One of the strongholds that keeps and sustains every relationship is trust, so keeping such a vital detail away from me is nothing but a breach of trust, because as a human, my mind will begin to travel far and near, wondering what else she has been keeping from me? And wondering if anything has really been real the whole time? I mean, she could have eavesdropped on one of my thoughts, and because of that, gotten into a relationship with me; the list of possibilities just seems endless.
Realizing such requires critical thinking, and one thing I'll explore during such a period is the fact that I've never truly been alone in my head when around my partner, from when I admire another lady to when rehearsing a conversation or even thinking things through out of frustration, but yet keep it to myself because I don't want to be seen in my vulnerable state.
Knowing that they know all of this is kind of scary. Where does the help I get from them come from? Because they knew what I was going through, it's just crazy and scary at the same time, but then I can't help but wonder how they've stayed with me and not run away despite all of what they must have learned from my thoughts. On the positive side, I'd say being exposed to such information and yet staying could mean they truly love me, or it could be something else.
One thing about mind reading is the fact that such a person is like an open book that you can read through, and finding myself in such a situation where someone read my darkest thoughts would make me begin to wonder if I'm ever truly authentic in such a relationship. I mean, no one Is a saint? We all have those dark thoughts running through our heads once in a while, and for your partner to know all that and still choose to be with you, it shows their love is deeper. That's if they aren't staying with the intention of revenging at a later date in the future, but the truth there is that I won't be comfortable in such a relationship knowing full well that I've no privacy. Everyone wants privacy; even partners crave it at one point in time, so being with someone who can read through you seems to pose a threat to that.
But then, would this be a deal-breaker? In my opinion, it depends on if the relationship is built on honesty and mutual respect, which is, aside from the mind-reading secret, we might be able to walk things through, but if, on the contrary, it's a pattern of deception, then it might be a deal-breaker indeed. I'll read through the lines of the experiences I've had with her in the past to decipher that and decide on the next line of action.
But what if I had known about this mind-reading thing from the beginning? Would I have proceeded into the relationship? In all honesty, I don't think I would have gotten into such a relationship at all, and saying this or making such a decision doesn't mean I'm a liar or a wayward person who's afraid of getting exposed; it's just because there's a kind of comfort that comes from being able to reveal yourself to someone at your own pace. That's the beauty of falling in love, and it's what makes up the journey and ultimately builds trust, but if my partner were to already know it all because she can read my mind, then it makes the relationship feel somehow, especially when you can't read her mind back.
Overall, it's a complicated situation. I've always wondered what someone is thinking, but I don't think I'd like to read people's minds, and neither would I want mine to be read. Love is in a way about freedom, but there isn't really freedom when someone knows you through and through, so I'd rather prefer being in a relationship with someone whom I open up to gradually at just my own pace than with someone who either intentionally or unintentionally spies on my thoughts. It's like being in a prison, where you not only have to be mindful of what you say but also mindful of what you think about.
All photos are taken and edited on canva.