What a pain!
I just wish I couldn’t have done it. Why did I even commit such atrocities towards myself? I don’t know what I got myself into but it was a great altering of my own story. The day I will keep remembering is just 30th of December. I wish I would have turned back the tide of time to 4 days before that time. Just if I didn’t speak, just if I didn’t meet her, just if I wasn’t around, I will still be who I was before then.
26th of December was the beginning of this journey to hell. I was delighted she was coming to town. I woke up forgetting the normal daily routine just because of her arrival that day. I was inside the house the whole day until 11am when I went out to see a good brother of mine. I came back and met her on the street. She looked like an angel that day that the first thought on my mind was just that I wished she would be mine. Her hug melted my heart just like an ice being melted by strong heat. I know right from that moment that I was already in love with this girl.
I went for the Muslim’s afternoon prayer and came back just to find her waiting for me. I knew she love me then and I was looking for a way just to turn on the relationship. It was evening that day and I went to see her. She was going out when I arrived and I had to walk her off to her destination. We started our discussion right from July 2016 issue. I was on her and I had already asked her out. She insisted then that she needed to finish an upcoming exam May 2017. Being impatient, I couldn’t agree with her then. She was not the only woman in my life then, I remembered Enny who left me before she came and I could remember Tina who I had met before I met her. Tina accepted my feelings though on conditions that I wouldn’t disturb her till she’s ready but she considered me her boyfriend then. Feeling high just because of the acceptance, I posted “love you tina” on my social media status. This girl saw it and everything changed then(July 2016). When I brought up this issue when she came around after a year(Dec 26), She said it was just a mood switch and that she was not reacting to my new relationship.
During the night, I went to her place and we talked at length. I summoned courage and asked her out one more time. Replying me with a maybe yes answer, I was so happy. She gave me condition that I had to prove myself right so she could discard the use of her current boyfriend. She spent four days with me and many things happened in those four days. We went on a picnic, we went on a tour round the area, we discussed minor and major issues for at least 2 hours every night. She would always wear clothes and would always ask the decency level of the cloth she’s wearing. I was like I had the best woman ever. I was already forgetting Tina who was the best woman in my life then. We chatted for at least 4 hours daily. She would always call me to come around and I answered some and ignored some but I was some kind first degree dull boy.
The problem started when we chatted on facebook. I asked that what did she have for me and she was kinda telling me kisses. Then I came clean for her that I had never kissed anyone before. She didn’t believe me at first but she knew I was some kind boring so it might be possible for me not to have kissed before. She promised me one and had it been I know that one would cost a lot, I wouldn’t have gone for the promise.
The d-day came, I mean 30th of December, it was 6pm in the evening and every member of her family had travelled except her sister and her. I went to her as usual, but she wasn’t ready to interact with me that day. I took a walk to clear my head and came back only to hear that she had been looking for me. I went to meet her and she was the only one in the room. We started discussing about unnecessary things. Suddenly, she said that I was not that social and that all I do was just to watch movies during leisure time. She said that she was ready to change me and that I must always obey to her since I wanted a good social life. The moment she made mention of pink lips like this, I knew we were not on a journey to hell, I realized we were in hell already. The most annoying part was the mistake I made talking about the promise of giving me a kiss. She told me she was not ready to give me and that kissing needs no serious tutoring. I insisted on her giving me. Wait, I forgot to tell you that my 8 year old brother was with us. For the devil to begin its act in the hell we were, I needed to chase my brother away. Being a kid, he wanted to play with us and insisted on not going. I forced him to go and at this time, I was already angry that I might even injure my blood brother. The devil begged God well and my brother went away. Now, I was ready for the action but her sister came in again. Being a matured girl, her sister went into the bedroom to give us privacy. Suddenly, I remembered I hadn’t observe my evening prayer and asked for 20 minutes. She allowed me; I went and prayed to God to not let the worst happen. Being in the mood, I rushed my prayer and went to meet her again. By this time, Electricity Company had put off the light and we were in total darkness. The only light was that one of my low battery phone and her low battery phone. She said I should move closer and I moved closer. She brought her mouth to mine and we started the stuff. We kissed till I was out of breath, she stopped and started laughing. She told me I was a bad kisser and that I am still trying my best. She started the second round again and we did it till we were out of breath. By this time, my lips were already lighter and I don’t know how. She started the third round and I was already starting my little romance which I was the worst in. The thought of having sex with her crossed my mind but I killed it off because I wanted no more sins. We went for the fourth round of kissing and she looked at my face with the expression oya!
“Can we do this?” A question from me;
“We can risk it,” she replied me.”
Baby I don’t want us to do this, it’s unprotected.” I said.
“but can we do it?” another question from me.
“Let’s risk it,” she replied.
I moved her closer and unzipped her jean trouser. I removed her panties and I was left with no choice than to start. I remembered God once again but I ignored the idea of being holy. I was to start but the problem was that I was confusing a small opening for the vagina. She told me to switch on my phone’s torch and showed me the vagina by saying “insert it here.” I started the insertion and it was not that deep that I was only doing rubbish since I had no experience before then. I removed my organ and I went in the second time only for her to tell me to remove my dick after 10 seconds of action. I removed it and found that I had already released too soon. She told me to leave and I left with the thinking that I had done the worst. Firstly, I had sinned. Furthermore, I had an unprotected sex with a girl I didn’t know her character and she broke my own virginity. Lastly, I feared an unwanted pregnancy will come. I went home and couldn’t sleep throughout the night. I messaged her on facebook and we spoke about not betraying each other. I promised her marriage if God wills.
The second day, I woke up by 10am and she had gone already. We contacted each other often but it was just two calls in a day. After a few days, she messaged me that she would be visiting her sister in another town and that I shouldn’t text her again. She also said I should limit my calls and I replied her that limiting my calls means flashing once a day since I only called her twice daily then. I was angry but she told me not to be angry. I understood the message she was trying to pass across and I knew it was over. But I had to keep her down because I was not sure when the unwanted pregnancy would come up. The love was no more there and I stopped calling her. I went back to school and stopped calling her except once in just two weeks when I have enough airtime on my cellphone.
I ASKED MYSELF EVERYDAY, IS THAT HOW LOVE DIES?
Written by Chrysanthemum