This is going to be a blend of two days in one.
Yesterday was somewhat emotional and I wasn’t really much able to put what I was feeling into words. What I can say is that progress was made despite that. I thought about just not sharing the stuff from yesterday but I think its important.
I read in some of my research that some people found it hard to get things done on certain doses because of emotions. Sometimes your brain just tells you to pay attention to things other than what you’d like to because those things lingering in the back of our minds are often why we procrastinate on the things we want to get done, right now.
So this post starts yesterday around noon, and ends to right now.
Last night I went to bed after some dabs. I considered a night dose of the shrooms but decided against it. I slept better than usual despite being woken up with a water leak to the face during a rain storm.
12:23 I just took my second dose the same as yesterday. I added a tiny bit more honey than I did yesterday but is still easily a 10th of what was recommended for a full dose. Currently feeling fine but easily distracted today.
12:51 Already feeling more focused. Working on a transcription for A Beautiful Thought. Feeling lucky that I can fund my life with interesting creative work.
1:23 Taking a break from work to smoke and muse about the experience of living with other people. I won’t get into specifics but I rent at a place where other people live somewhat closely and it’s been mixed.
At times it’s great, other times I really miss having my own separate place. I find living in family type settings difficult, especially when people are passive aggressive or not otherwise not clear on needs.
Today I’m definitely in less of a good mood although I’d say that’s related to slight tension in the living arrangements. From what I can tell the tension actually has nothing to do with me but living here I do experience it all the same.
4:15 I’d say my emotions are definitely more raw. I’m more sensitive today to things I can usually ignore. I don’t really want to get into specifics but it basically just boils down to basic human conflicts and misunderstandings.
And now we transition into today….
Yesterday ended with a headache and me going to bed early. It was a lot of emotions coming up I think so I wasn't as productive as I would have liked. Still I can’t say it was a bad experience. And I think the headache was related to changing air pressure due to changing weather, something that has plagued me during the wet season every year in Mexico.
12:10 I debated on whether or not to microdose today. I was going to take the day off. I even considered doing a night time dose but I just didn’t. I have noticed I sleep a little more soundly. Perhaps it’s because the mircodose is more emotional than expected.
A friend of mine said she’s microdosing LSD instead of psilocybin now. She marked the difference with emotions, mushrooms are just more childlike and emotional. Eventually I want to try LSD microdosing but I don’t see that happening for a very long time.
Anyway current mood is good. Already have been motivated for the day. The last two days I was harder to motivate, partially being tired and drained from a short 2 day trip to a city. Going to smoke and get back to work.
Today I might have taken a bigger dose. We will see the effects/differences.
12:30 I already feel different. I’d guess the dose was stronger, I suppose we will see HOW much stronger soon enough. Feel slightly short of breath.
1:13 The stronger dose has gotten me into a better flow state. Still totally functional. Getting more done, finally getting a little of that productivity I was hoping for.
6:45 All in all the stronger dose definitely lead to more creative breakthroughs today. I got more done and had an easier time with creative tasks on the computer which was nice. I originally hadn’t planned on dosing today but decided to anyway and all considered I’m glad that I did.
So far the experiment has been a positive one. Even yesterday which was not as happy and slightly emotional I can’t say was a bad day.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to microdose tomorrow. Some claim that doing it too often is bad spiritually. I’m not necessarily convinced of that but perhaps it would become less significant and impactful over time.
For now I will play it by ear with both dosing and how often to dose. Eventually I want to take it before bed but I’m considering doing that after a day break. Perhaps I’ll take a break tomorrow or the next day and use it as an excuse to take a hike. I live in a beautiful area, I just don’t get out into it enough.
I can’t say I’m getting ahead in my workload yet but I can say I’m no longer falling behind. I’ve been more efficient in the tasks I have done so it’s more or less been a process of catch up the last few days, mingled with some emotional stuff. I did get to some naturopath tasks I’ve had on my list for a long time today, making a body butter as well as drawing black healing salve I’ll share the recipes for soon.