The talk about ego death in the psychedelic community is full of varying perspectives. Some feel that the term is a misnomer while others wear it as badge.
So who is right and who is wrong?
Well that's not an easy question to answer as psychedelic experiences are extremely subjective.
The literal meaning of ego death can be looked at a few ways.
The ego- the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.[1]
Ego death- is a "complete loss of subjective self-identity". The term is used in various intertwined contexts, with related meanings. In Jungian psychology the synonymous term psychic death is used, which refers to a fundamental transformation of the psyche.[2]
To some the definition might seem accurate. For others it doesn't seem to fit into describing what they themselves have experienced.
Since the psychedelic experience is subjective, it make sense that this experience could be drastically different for each individual.
For some, it has been described as a "bad trip" a hellish experience where they are confronted with harsh realizations about themselves.
Others have described the experience as being liberating and beautiful. Losing themselves and connecting to the beauty around them.
The contrast between the two examples speaks to how personal these experiences truly are. Some might say you experience what you "need" and not what you "want".
As any psychonaught knows, the psychedelic experience isn't always a pleasant one. You can be confronted with your deepest secrets or your worst fears.
What does this experience do to the person afterwards? Are they a better person for having experienced this?
From my observations, an "ego death" experience can be a humbling one and turn an egomaniac into more pleasant person as many claim. A person can have a new respect for life and see the beauty in things unnoticed before.
What's not talked about as much, is how some can become extremely egotistical after having the experience. Anyone that is involved in the psychedelic community has most likely encounterd these types.
What type of experience a person has during ego death doesn't seem to correlate with what type of change happens to the person afterwards.
The changes in a persons personality are not always apparent and an ego death experience doesn't change a person at all in some cases.
It seems that if a person has a solid understanding of self going into an ego death experience they are less likely to change. A person who is trying to find themselves may not like what they see and use the experience to build a new sense of self.
A healthy ego goes along way and one shouldn't try to "kill it".
Having a healthy ego is good for your mental and physical health. Having an ego death experience can provide the self reflection needed to create positive change.
If you are seeking an ego death experience, just remember to have clear intentions on what your trying to get out of it. Write down who you think you are beforehand and compare it to your sense of self afterwards. Ego death can be an easy way to bring positive change to your life, just remember it doesn't always happen when you want it.
Be brave and stay humble ✌️
Image:
Narcissus (1590s) by Caravaggio (Galleria Nazionale d'Arte Antica, Rome)