If you are anything like me, sometimes in the middle of the night while laying in bed and trying to go to sleep, suddenly an embarassing or stupid thing you did in the past will just pop into your head. This isnt only reserved for late at night though, this happens to me literally every day. For me, someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, this is commonplace and you get used to it, but im left wondering why I dont remember all the good memories instead of the bad ones.
I think theres probably two answers for this question, the first is more scientific and the second is more likely just reflective of how we live our day to day lives. The scientific version is most likely that while evolving, putting more emphasis on the bad things that happened to us, flat out keep us alive. We tend to not make the same mistake twice when we are traumatized from an experience so in terms of survival remembering what happened when you ate a certain berry or ate undercooked meat, is probably a benefit for our species in the long term.
However, even though our lives are filled with remnants of our days as more primitive creatures, this idea might not bode well in the modern era. We end up shutting ourselves in and avoiding life based on the small experiences that hurt us. Its much easier to stay shut off from the world and protect ourself because we remember the pain over the good. With most relationships, even great ones, in the end its the bad times you remember over the happiness you felt while in the relationship. I know many people who were in long term relationships that now shut down the possibility of future prospects because they dont want to go through the pain again.
Its very hard to fight how we are programmed by nature, but it is doable. I havent figured out how to do it, but many have and live happy lives. I think part of it is just going with the flow and in many cases accepting that despite the outcome, we as people cant stop living our lives. Time is the most precious commodity and many people, including me waste it for no other reason than we are afraid of the past repeating itself. I know I have many amazing memories, even during the times I was most anxious, but its really hard to remember them. I need to actively think on it.
Im trying to reprogram my brain to focus on the good rather than the bad, despite it being extremely challenging. Its a process that takes a lot of time and effort, especially when you experience so much on a daily basis. Letting things that happened in the past just melt away is the ultimate goal and to live life in the current and immediate future. I know that if I am unable to change my mind, I will ultimately futher box myself off from the experiences that make life wonderful. I suggest if you are like me, you try and do the same. Life is too precious and our time is too valuable to spend reliving the bad experiences we had in the past.
-Calaber24p