One thing about being a people pleaser is that you will never be true to yourself and people like that usually settle for less in life.. Every great man in history is unique in their own way, they wouldn't have been so if they were people pleasers. Being a people pleaser limits you and your potentials. The root of this problem is lack of self esteem. Low self esteem could be a trait picked up depending on the background and society and even peer pressure. Whatever the reason maybe for self esteem and people pleasing, there is always a way out. You are responsible for whatever you make of your life.
You can be a people pleaser without knowing you are one, score yourself with this and take action now!
Always hurt during disagreements
You always want to feel approved so when someone disagrees with you, you feel hurt because you feel that if they don't agree with you then they don't approve of you.
Changing views in a discussion
If you constantly change your views to suit another person's opinion when they don't agree with you, then you are a people pleaser. A confident person will defend their position but a people pleaser will give in for fear of losing the other person's approval.
Never say NO
A people pleaser always finds it difficult to say No. They say Yes, even when they mean No deep down in their hearts just because they want to please the other person.
Never set boundaries
Truth is you have to value yourself before you can set your boundaries. A people pleaser don't set boundaries, they allow themselves to be walked over by just anyone instead of standing up for themselves. If you want to have value, then set boundaries.
Agrees to everything
A people pleaser agrees to everything when they want to get approval. Even when they don't agree with what a person does or says, they will never say a word for fear of being rejected.
Never complains
Even when offered an unsatisfactory service, a people pleaser will not speak up, they rather nod their heads like everything is ok.
Hates Criticism.
A people pleaser is always hurt when they are criticised instead of approved. It makes them feel like they have failed. Because of ther need to be approved, they seek to be praised at all times, which is why they feel hurt when they are criticised instead.
Ignore their values and beliefs.
People pleasers tend to go against their values especially when they want to feel among. This is common high school and colleges, in a bid to belong to a popular group or class, they could even join a fraternity or do things that are not in their nature.
Always Sorry
They always feel the need to apologise even when they are not wrong. They feel they are always at fault..
If you've scored yourself and you are a people pleaser then it's time to change. Truth is, no one values a people pleaser, they will drain you emotionally and psychologically especially when they need something from you. You need to stand up for yourself, define your values and set your boundaries if you truly want to be accepted..
Those people you are seeking approval from are not even perfect, they probably don't have their life together and they don't give a fuck about you because they are obviously pursuing their goals..
People will always talk, whether you are good or bad so why bother yourself? Just be yourself, Embrace criticism, you need it to grow..
Stop living in the shadows you deserve to be heard, just like everyone else.. You deserve a good life, work for it..