What is a conflict?
The organizational psychologist Mary Follet defines conflict as the result of a difference, which is, in turn, an interaction of desires. Beyond the ethical prejudice (regardless of whether the conflict is good or bad), it is about the appearance of a difference of opinions and interests.
5 strategies to solve a conflict effectively
Theories about conflict and negotiation have developed in an important way in psychology, especially impacting the scope of organizations, but also other areas where interpersonal relationships are analyzed.
In the 1981s, American experts in conflict resolution and negotiation, William Ury, Roger Fisher and Bruce Patton, published a book called Get the Yes. In this, they described 5 ways to resolve a conflict effectively, through negotiation. These forms are still valid today and may have application in different contexts.
1. People are not the problem
The conflict has effects at the level of individual experiences, that is, it involves emotions, values, and points of view. In many cases, this is forgotten or is not prioritized because we focus more on organizational interests. In this case, the authors explain that effective negotiation begins by separating people from the problem, that is, analyzing the problem independently of who we attribute responsibility for.
To do that, they recommend us to think that conflicts have their roots in one of the following three dimensions: perception, emotion or communication. Recognize the latter to remain empathetic to others; not to place responsibility for the conflict on other people, and to avoid emotionally explosive reactions. Likewise, it can help us stay focused on our interests so that we do not give up more than is appropriate.
2. The main interests are?
In line with the above, the authors tell us that behind the positions that people assume before a conflict, there are a series of interests that motivate us, and sometimes they hide.
If instead of standing firm in positions we are concerned with exploring the interests behind, we will most likely find that there are both, needs and shared interests, and shareable values. In turn, the latter allows us to reach an effective negotiation.
In a nutshell, given that conflict is above all a confrontation of different interests, it is important to focus on these, rather than on the positions we assume individually.
3. Seek mutual benefit
Another of the principles of conflict resolution and negotiation is to generate options for mutual benefit. It usually happens that during a conflict situation, it is thought that there is no way that everyone can benefit from the final decision.
This hinders the negotiation process, and in general, terms occurs through four quite frequent obstacles: making premature judgments; look for unique answers; think that the conflict has a fixed form, and to think that the solution to the problem is the problem itself. The authors explain that through an empathic attitude we can look for a mutual benefit. That is, we can offer negotiation options that favor all parties at least partially.
4. Prioritize objective criteria
The authors recommend that we remain insistent that objective criteria be used from the beginning of the negotiation. That is, without disregarding empathy and "win-win", we must be realistic and assume that sometimes there will be differences that are only reconcilable under very high costs, at least for some of the parties. With which, in this case, the negotiation has to be carried out on independent bases to the wills of those involved.
5. Take into account power relations
Finally, the authors explain that the effective resolution of conflicts may be unlikely in cases where influence, power, and authority are deposited in only one of the interested parties. In this case, the negotiation consists of trying not to agree on something that goes totally against our principles or interests and try to take advantage as much as possible of the agreements and final decisions, even if they are taken unilaterally.
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