I developed #PTSD after an attempt #murder whilst working as an #undercover police officer back in 2006. I’ll not go into the details about the same, because firstly the causation is not important and secondly I really don’t feel like revisiting the same at the moment.
I was bad for years, everyone asking me “What’s your problem?” or telling me to “Snap out of it.” In 2013 after a number of mishaps and now cognizant myself something wasn’t quiet right I went to see a doctor, who in turn referred me to a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with “severe PTSD” which had been aggravated by a number of other factors related to my employer, again facts in issue not necessary for this piece.
When the Doctor determined I had a mental health condition, I immediately told him he was wrong. After he assured me he was correct in his assessment, I then told him that “I” could beat this without the assistance of others. Let me tell you now. You can’t! You need people to help you through this or any other mental health condition.
People are more than forthcoming and accepting if diagnosed with cancer or a heart condition but with mental health, we first deny, then hide. Like we’re ashamed. We feel we need to fear the stigma attached to the same, and camouflage it from the world. We don’t, but again that’s not what this article is about. I’ve seen several #therapist, #psychologist and #psychiatrist over the past half decade and one thing they all told me...’you need to write your story down’!
In 2015 I started to take that advice and do exactly that. I would write my life story, and the anecdotes on the unusual set of circumstances which led me to be mentally inflamed. The book took on a life of it’s own. Therapeutically, every passage helped me cathartically exorcise some of the memories that made up the demons in my head.
Now, when I have flashbacks of calamities others would consider horrific, I grab my iPad and write about it. If I’ve already wrote about the same, I grab my iPad, go to the corresponding chapter and read it. It’s like you get to share your problem with another person, but don’t have to worry about being judge. Take if from me, putting it on paper really helps deal with issues, that in the past I’ve spent days, weeks and months accentuating over.
I don’t profess to be a good writer, but I do try to get my point across, and I love the release writing gives me. If you find yourself in a position where angst is caused by a solitary issue, or have led a life which causes you a level of sorrow where you don’t function ‘normally’...’you need to write your story down’!
It will help!
Note: If you really have no one to speak too, or feel no one understands, then contact me at pmanning1973@gmail.com and I’ll help all I can.
