It’s that thing again—the internet. The thing where someone like me can say whatever I want and potentially reach an unfathomable crowd at the speed of sight and someone like you can read whatever I say type. It’s that thing again—the internet.
The other day I said now go be a good wife to @lynncoyle1 and even typed a continuation in sub text directly beneath it (in parenthesis) that read ”(Piss off judgy readers—ya’all don’t know what we talk about on discord!)” and dang! As soon as I clicked the post button I lost two followers—gone, just like that! One and two—gone and gone. No, I’m not telling you this because I’m proud of losing two virtual strangers, in fact, I’d rather be here telling about you how I gained 10 but, as human as I am which means I’m just as good at stretching the #truth as you are, my thoughts are typically stretched enough and don’t require additional assistance.
You’re probably wondering where I’m going with this one—we’re almost there. The reason I’m telling you this is because if I’m going to lose two followers as quickly as I can click the send button simply by commenting an inside joke to a long time friend, whom I’ve only heard from consistently on discord for the past several months, what’s going to happen when I say “I had no idea England had so many...”
Ninjas?!
Who’s still with me—you there? Can I get a show of hands, please, how many of you are still here? Look, I’m only writing this article because I’m genuinely curious—don’t shoot the questioner. I got the above image from Pixabay, I wouldn’t dare try to snap a photo of the countless number of women I’m surrounded by who cover every square inch of flesh on their person minus a small fraction of fabric that allows only their eyes to be seen. I’ve heard contradicting theories—maybe you can set the record straight, that’s why I’m here, I’m all ears eyes.
Growing up in California, I’ve never seen a woman dressed like a ninja. I’m a foreigner, in a foreign land, it’s ok if I say stupid ish like “ninja,” don’t take it personal if you dress like a ninja. I know what a hijab is. I’ve seen plenty of those in California, I’ve worked in numerous states across the United States, visited at least 30 of the 50 states and even lived in six of them—I’ve seen plenty of women wear hijab’s. However, across all of those same states, regardless of living there, visiting, or working, I never knew niqāb was a wOrd until now and, not only is it a wOrd, niqāb’s are predominantly worn around here in Bradford, England.
It’s all in the name of #religion, that much I’m certain of. “My God’s cooler than yours” or vice versa—I get it. Islam attire is an essential preference based on that religion—noted. Same goes for the pope, he’s always wearing an off-white robe with a bedazzled cross, suspended from a necklace around his neck—it’s all in the name of religion. Mormons wear one-piece undergarments, Buddhists and Hindus wear mala’s or, mala beads and, with over 4,000 divisions religions across the world, there’s a lot of specific dress codes.
A couple of local English people, one man and one woman, both considerably older than I am and have lived in England their whole life, told me it isn’t the woman’s choice to cover everything but their eyes, it’s insisted by their husband. Man, I hope that’s not the case because, if so, it seems to me that religion is insecure—“don’t look at my wife!” I see these women in the restaurants, they don’t remove their mask even to eat. They have to keep their faces hidden and lift the spoon of food up from under their mask just to feed their self. By the way, these words are being typed by a fully tattooed, clean-cut white guy with a fohawk who says whatever he thinks, whenever he thinks it, and uses words like “dude” and “dope” casually in conversation—talk about one extreme to the next. I wonder what they’re writing on that thing again—the internet, while trying to figure me out?
I’ve also read online, on that thing again—the internet, that Muslim women who practice Islam have a choice and it’s their decision to wear either a hijab or a niqāb. Both are considered to be an outward expression of respect and love for their God, Allah. Who should I believe, the English people who have been surrounded by the Islam culture their entire life or that thing again—the internet?
The third reason I was told was from a man who doesn’t claim to have affiliation with any religion. He actually told me “the only thing I believe in is #love.” He told me women who wear niqāb’s are extremists and that gentlemen is a Syrian native who doesn’t agree with any of the 4,000 plus divisions religions. There seems to be so many conflicting opinions and just because I read it on that thing again—the internet, doesn’t mean it’s true. So, what is true—anyone? Do you know why so many women around me in the Bradford area of West Yorkshire, England wear niqāb’s and nowhere else I’ve been? Not in Canada, the United States, Mexico, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama or Colombia. Only in England—why is that?
Eh, I know one thing though, one thing I’ll never forget and I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to share it with you—now is my opportunity. When we were just a few days into our journey here in the UK and were staying in London, one of several ladies wearing a niqāb was with two gentlemen who I believe share the same religion as her. She was standing right next to me at a crosswalk. All four of us crossed the street together and, for whatever reason, she called both of the guys she was with, in a loud and stern voice, “sawwy muddfukkaz!” (“sorry” with a British accent—“sawwy” and, well, you know, the ‘M-F’ word) Oh, man!! It was great! I’ll never forget it—I heard a ninja call two dudes “sawwy muddafukkaz!” It was dope!!
