"I have been with my wife for 20 years (married for 10). We have a four-year-old son. The last two years of our marriage have been a continuous downhill slope, culminating in a crash this June.
"I've been working a lot, and she has felt lonely. We developed an unfortunate relationship dynamic: when I tried to get closer, she would push me away, which made me try less. About three years ago, she started doing parkour (free running and jumping), which I wasn't happy about. I thought it's rather risky, and if she wants to stay fit, she could engage in less risky and easier-to-arrange activities. If she needs company, she could find it elsewhere. She ended up breaking her arm doing parkour.
"This spring, she got really close with a guy at parkour, and they fell in love. Initially, she wasn't very upfront about it, but she eventually told me. She also said that she is sorry. They only talked and hugged; nothing else happened, but she is very much in love with this other guy (she has butterflies), but has since stopped talking to him.
"Currently, we are going to marriage therapy and trying to fix this. She is also attending therapy on her own. Another relevant point is that I am the sole breadwinner in our relationship. We have an above-average financial situation (a beautiful home, multiple vacations each year, extreme sports, etc.), but finances have been an ongoing issue between us for many years.
"I acknowledge that I have made many mistakes in our relationship. I'm not very good at romance and tend to be a realist, logic-based person and I didn't pay enough attention to her needs. She is more the improvisational, go-with-the-flow type of person. I would like to fix our marriage, but right now, I feel lost. I really could use your help and insight.
"Thank you"
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