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Hi Stef! My name is [x] and I've been listening to your show for a couple years now, my husband introduced it to me shortly after we got married. I've really enjoyed learning about philosophy and self-knowledge and have been applying it to my marriage and other relationship queries. I was hoping to talk to you about some struggles I've had maintaining relationships (friendships) throughout my life. I've never had a local friendship last more than a few years. I'm about to continue my self-knowledge work by going to a Christian group therapy (Freedom session) and I was told I would need a sponsor (a friend or relation) to closely connect with for these group sessions. It occurred to me that I don't have any close friends and no one I could ask (besides my husband). To me that is alarming. I feel as though I should have at least one long term close friendship. My husband and I talk about this often - how I often have difficulties maintaining friendships. I've been burned by people many times throughout my life and I now tend to put up barriers when meeting new people, until I have observed them long enough to deem them as safe people. Even when I do form friendships they seem to die out in a sense within a few years. I'm wondering if there is a pattern that needs to be addressed or something I'm not seeing. I'm an emotionally intelligent, kind, gentle and thoughtful person. I'm often the listener/counselor in friendships and relationships. I often have to be the pursuer of connection with other people and it can be very exhausting especially when there is no reciprocation. At times I feel I have this in my familial relationships as well. I come from a family of married parents with 6 kids including myself and I often felt that I was thirsty for affection/attention as a child and still feel that way to this day. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. Thankfully my husband and I have a very good relationship, I feel like he is my only truest friend who knows every intimate detail of my life, he knows my innermost being and I love that about our relationship. My hope is that I could have that with a friend as well one day. I hope that it would work to speak to you as I respect your insight. Thank you for your time!
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