Dear girl,
Forgive him. I know you hate him. I know you despise him. I know you can't stand the sight of him. I even know seeing his name makes you angry. Yes, you have every right to feel that towards him. He hurt you over and over, even when you've given him chance after chance. You could even say you're entitled to feel so much hatred towards him and nobody would blame you. But just think about it; what has hating him done for you? Sure, it's kept you more guarded against people. Sure, it's made you more aware of peoples' bad intentions with you. Sure, it's caused you to not trust anybody and therefore, not leaving yourself vulnerable for anybody. But hating him has also caused you to push people away. Hating him has also stopped you from being able to see potential in people who actually want to be with you. Hating him has caused you to be bitter, which led to you emotionally shutting yourself down, which led to you not caring if you hurt people in the process or not, which led to you being unable to love anyone, including yourself. Do you really want to feel this way forever? Are you sure you want to carry this with you for the rest of your life? Would you actually be willing to make the next guy pay for the last guys' mistakes? That wouldn't be fair to him or for you because how could you ever find happiness when you're the one preventing yourself from finding it? Deep down, I know you miss being loved and you even miss loving someone. Deep down, I know you're afraid to give as much of yourself to someone as you did to the last guy again. Deep down, I know you're even having trouble putting the wall you've put up down. But, you just have to let it go. Not just him, but that part of your life. I know that relationship with him took a huge toll on you and it's left you damaged, but it isn't too late for you to put yourself back together and there's also nothing wrong with having someone help you. You just have to start by forgiving him because that is the only way you'll ever move on to the next chapter of your life. Come back to being happy again because we all miss that girl.
Sincerely,
A guy who cares.