Dear girl,
You wanted to try again with him, and what happened? Did things change like he said it would? Did he change like he promised he did? Did being with him again bring you the happiness he made you hope for? No, none of those things happened and once again, you're back to arguing with him, you're back to being disappointed because of him, and you're back to hating yourself for trying to see the good in him. I know that being with him feels comforting, I know being with him feels right, and I know being with him is something your heart wants, but the reality of your relationship with him is it'll never get better and the more you expect it to get better, the most hurt you'll be when everything keeps getting worse than it already is. He's only everything you need him to be when he loses you and once he gets back you back, he falls right back into mistreating you, not appreciating you, and being ungrateful for you. The cycle starts itself all over when he'll eventually lose you again and then he'll beg for you to come back and when you do, all of this happens again. Aren't you tired to coming back just to leave again? You've been weak and vulnerable for too long when it comes to him and it's time for you to be stronger for yourself. You're only in this position because you've allowed yourself to be. You need to wake up and see that he is only breaking you and you've put yourself back together too many times for him to just break you again. The next time he loses you, make sure he lost you for good.
Sincerely,
A guy who cares