https://twitter.com/_puebsand/status/1305008396031139842
- _puebsand
I saw several misconceptions in the replies to this post.
- This post is not opposing venting, to your partner or anyone else.
- This post is not opposing partners talking through their issues together.
Rather, this post is about the limits of both of those valuable activities.
Not only does venting not replace therapy, but venting to your partner continually about stuff you really should be talking to a therapist about can damage or even ruin a relationship.
And it's no fun on the partner's end, either. They may become frustrated or feel helpless in the face of hearing about issues they're not in a position to assist with. When that happens, about the only thing the partner can do is strongly recommend therapy, which is definitely a helpful thing to do.
However, all they can do is suggest it. If you're in that spot and your partner rejects the idea of getting help from professionals, whether therapy or medication or whatever they need, that's really not fair to you.
And OF COURSE that doesn't mean you should shove off your partner's concerns about relationship issues etc. by just saying "Tell a therapist about it." That would be an instance of a therapist taking over a partner's responsibilities, rather than the partner taking over the therapist's.