Scientists call this "a test with a nude photograph," and the essence of this test is this: suppose there is some kind of photograph depicting how naked you are doing something that could dishonor you and your entire family for many generations: for example, bestiality. Ask yourself, how many people you know could you trust this photo with? If you are the same as all of us, then, probably, you have at most two such people.
Even more frustrating is that according to the results of the research, almost every fourth person has no one to whom he can entrust this. The average number of our close friends, which we call, is rapidly declining, and especially it has declined particularly in the past 20 years. Why?
In our lives there are not enough annoying strangers
And this is not sarcasm. To irritation, we develop tolerability, as to alcohol or an unpleasant smell. The more opportunities we have to "cut" the annoyance from our lives, the less we are able to cope with it.
The problem is that the technology has helped us build a steep, overgrown network, designed only so that we can avoid annoying people. Buy Christmas presents on the Internet, and you do not have to face a fat lady pushing your basket directly at you at the department store "Target." Spend $ 5,000 on a home theater so you can watch movies on the big screen, and no child will kick your chair from behind.
And annoying friends are missing too
Many of us were born in cities filled with people whom we do not tolerate. When you were little, you could be in primary school classroom, stuffed with a couple of dozen other children, which you did not choose, and who did not share your tastes and interests. Maybe you were often beaten. The problem is that peaceful communication with incompatible people is very important for life in society. In fact, if you think about it, then peaceful communication with people you do not tolerate is society. Just people with opposite tastes and conflicting personalities, who share living space and interact with each other, often through gritted teeth.
Text is a shitty way of communication
I have one friend who uses the expression "No thanks," with a sarcastic meaning. It means "Let them shoot me in the face." He pronounces the last word with a slight ironic tinge, according to which his true meaning becomes clear. You ask: "Do you want to go to a new film with Rob Schneider?". And he replies: "No, thank you."
So, once we exchanged the following text messages:
I: "Do you want me to bring the rest of the chili that I prepared?"
He: "No thanks"
It made me angry. I'm proud of my chili. It takes me several days to prepare it. I myself grind the dried pepper, and special veal is not cheap. And he rejects my proposal with his duty sentence?
I did not talk to him for six months. He sent me a letter, and I, without reading it, sent him back, sealing a dead rat inside.
As a result, my wife accidentally met him on the street and found out that this is his "No thanks," that's what it meant: "No, but thanks for the suggestion." It turns out he did not have a place in the fridge.
Internet friends make us even more lonely
When someone talks to you face-to-face, what proportion of the meaning of what he wants to say is hidden only in words, excluding body language and intonation? Guess.
Seven percent. The remaining ninety-three percent are nonverbal, according to the researchers. I do not know how they got such an exact number, using a computer or something else. But we do not need to know. Think for yourself, our humor is basically sarcasm, and sarcasm is the singling out words that are not suitable for the meaning of intonation. Like "No, thanks" to my friend.
You do not expect from the girl that she will say that she likes you. This is indicated by the brilliance in her eyes, her pose, the way she grabs you by the head, and pokes her face into her tits.
That's the main problem. The human ability to absorb the moods of others through this subconscious osmosis is of great importance. Children born without this skill are considered as mentally disabled. People who have this much are called "charismatic", and they become movie stars and politicians. It's not about what they say, but about the energy that they give out, and thanks to which we feel good.
We are little criticized
The worst thing in the absence of close friends is not missed birthdays or ping-pong alone with the wall, but - no real criticism.
For all the time that I spent on the Internet, I was called approximately 104 times 165 "fag".I was also called a "freak", etc.
And none of this mattered, because all these people knew me badly so that their words could hit the target. I was often insulted, and very rarely criticized. These concepts can not be confused. An insult is just a noise created by someone who hates you to denote your hatred. Barking dog. Criticism is when someone tries to help you, telling you about something that you would not be more comfortable not knowing.
We are all victims of the machine for indignation of public peace
Many who will read up to this place will say "Of course, I'm upset! People are dying of hunger. America turned into Nazi Germany! My parents watch debility TV shows, and then spend hours discussing them. Throughout the world, people are dying in meaningless wars! "
But how did it happen that our worldview became more negative than our parents' world view? Or grandparents? Previously, people lived less and children died more often. There were more diseases. If your friend moved, the only way to communicate with him was pen and paper. We have Iraq, but our parents had Vietnam (in which 50 times more people died), and their parents had a second world war (in which 1000 times more people died). Some of your grandparents grew up at a time when there was no air-conditioning. And their parents all grew up without air conditioning.
In the physical sense, we today live better in all possible articles, but you do not know it if you read the news on the Internet. Why?
Ask yourself: if an article called "Fall Out Boy is a great band" appears on some music site, another article will appear on the same day called "Fall Out Boy - the most daring band in the last hundred years, experts say." Which one do you think will receive more traffic? The second will break out ahead with a huge margin. Cases of indignation of calm cause a rumor.
Do many of you read news blogs? The people leading them know it too. All sites are fiercely fighting for traffic (even if they do not advertise, they still measure their success by the number of their audience), and therefore they creep cautiously along the wires in search of the most exciting history that one can find. Other blogs start to reflect the same story like an echo from the same point of view. If you want, you can swim the whole day, and without getting out of the warm stagnant pool water called "they're all evil bastards."
Only in this climate could these stupid theories of 9 September conspiracy (which claim that the towers were blown up by the Bush Administration and the New York Fire Department, and the planes were actually holograms) could have arisen.
We feel useless, because we are actually useless
Online friends have one advantage that no one ever says about:
They require less.
Of course, you support them emotionally, calm them down after a quarrel, maybe even dissuade them from committing suicide. But getting to know someone in the real world adds a whole bunch of annoying demands. You lose the whole afternoon, helping to fix the computer. Go with them to the funeral. Every day, bring in your car after their car for non-payment was withdrawn by the bank. They come to you unexpectedly, just as you are about to watch the "Dirty Jobs" program on the Discovery channel, and begin to hint that you want to eat until you give them half of your sandwich. Do you want to break out of this self-loathing pit? Remove the black hair from your eyes, move away from the computer, and buy for someone you do not like, some cool gift. Send a postcard to your worst enemy. Prepare dinner for your parents. Or do something simple that has a tangible result. Go clean the leaves from the drainpipe. In this there is nothing supernatural, you are a social animal, and therefore were born with small hormones of happiness that are released into your blood when you see the physical result of your actions. Think about all these teenagers in their dark rooms, glued to the computers, and turning every life problem into a stupid melodrama. Why do they cut their hands? Because the infliction of pain - and the subsequent recovery - tangibly gives them endorphins, which they can not receive in another way. It hurts, but for real.