I never shared this story before. I don't know why. It was life-changing. It highlights self-doubt and empowerment exercises. It's a story of impostor syndrome and comparison syndrome before I knew those were actual terms to describe this mindset.
In the late 1990s, when I had a corporate job, I was an ocean marine underwriter for a reinsurance corporation. I had a college education and I had been on the job for about 7 years with training through my manager and other employees working in the department.
There was a program for higher-level training, and I was lucky enough to have been chosen to go from the department. It was in Switzerland.
I was blown away, and beyond honored to be chosen. But when I got there, the caliber of other employees in attendance was extremely intimidating.
Some folks had PhDs and doctorates and held much higher positions in the company. To say I was having an identity crisis is an understatement.
The group training sessions began and there were consultants observing us in the group with the assignments and lessons.
When I was taken aside for the one-on-one assessment, the consultant assigned to me recounted how when I didn't know anything or didn't know what to do, I did nothing. I just sat there.
I was mortified and embarrassed. She followed up with this advice, as I recall it now: when you don't know something or don't know how to do something, offer assistance in areas that could help with the project overall. Offer help that will elevate the group as a whole.
This was extremely empowering, and it stayed with me for the decades that followed. Whenever I was triggered by self-doubt, I would try to take control back with asking,
- “What can I do?”
- “How can I help?”
I recently watched the Arnold Schwarzenegger mini-series documentary on Netflix. He shares how his father used to say, “be useful. Whatever you do in life, be useful.”
That sums up my experience exactly. I hope that helps in some way when you're having a moment of self-doubt or you're paralyzed with self-doubt.