Many of us have been in a situation where we would do or say something that we'd regret later. You've done it, I've done it. Some would say "It's only human to make mistakes". "Making mistakes is the only way to learn". Sure, ok. But, what about the people who keep repeating their mistakes over and over again and making their and everyone else's life miserable? Or those who're impulsive? Whether it's due to ignorance or lack of self-control or inexperience, mistakes will be made in the future. Making mistakes cannot be eliminated, but it can be slightly reduced by introducing some constructive habits. So, to make our lives a tiny bit easier, I'd like to introduce to you this very cool mental exercize.
It's a very old concept called three doors (or three gates). A very old philosophically crafted self-control method. It's basically three questions that you'd ask yourself before doing (or saying) something.
The modern version of it goes like this...
Before saying something, ask yourself these questions (and try to answer them):
- Should this be said?
- Should this be said by me?
- Should this be said by me now?
I call this an exercize, because you have to actively use it in everyday life in order for it to work. Use it until it becomes a mantra of sorts. Transform it into a habit. You would usually use this in a conversation with someone or when posting something online or even when you're doing something. In certain situations, not saying something can be a lot more productive than saying something that you'd regret later.
This same method can be slightly modified to control one's actions as well. Like this for eg:
Before doing something, ask yourself these questions:
- Should this be done?
- Should this be done by me?
- Should this be done by me now?
This will, hopefuly, help you get out of "I wish I hadn't done that" scenarios.