Some days it's harder to gather your thoughts than others...
2 years no alcohol and feeling pretty damn great these days. A lot in my life has changed over the past two years and its been a whirlwind to be honest. It's felt like a constant uphill battle but its also gone by in the blink of an eye. Least to say, you never know what tomorrow will bring..
You may feel as though you could melt into a pile of goo right on through the floorboards and into the earth's fiery core.
Some days you don't have all the answers you wish you had. Some days you feel frustrated, or forgotten or possibly unheard despite your best efforts to speak your truth. Sometimes the sunniest days are not what they are cracked up to be, and things take unexpected turns. Try as we may to change our circumstance its painful when our efforts feel lost. Though we can't let every lost battle defeat us.
It's important to remember things maybe coming together in ways you could never expect and that all may not be for loss. Equally so, it's important to give yourself the space you need to re cooperate before you face it all head on once again. Stop, think, let your inner truths sink and reflect on what happening around you.
Sometimes when things just don't seem to be working for you and all your paths seem to be overgrown, you are left with no option but to carve a new one.That doesn't always mean giving up or giving in, sometimes it can simply be going back to the drawing board, hitting the books so to speak, and re approaching the situation from a new perspective.
Sharpen your tools and begin to carve a new path. Things grow and evolve as will you if you give yourself the room you need to grow. Often these are the hardest changes to process because we like to be in control and when things begin to shift into new territory, the outcome becomes hazy and the problem at hand can't be solved with old solutions. Things feel unclear.
Be still in the moment, listen to your gut and trust in yourself. Trust that you are smarter and stronger than you think. You've made it this far. Whats the use in turning back or lying down now? Even when it feels like the world is working against you, remember that no matter what you can always be there for yourself when you feel you begin to falter. You are your own keeper and you can be the person you always needed. Treat yourself with the respect you wished you've had in the past. You have no choice in escaping yourself, so in a way your always there for yourself whether you like it or not. So how will you treat yourself when you are at your weakest? You of all people know what you want better than anyone else.
So start today.
There's a push and a pull to everything and the only way out of hell is through. This may require more honesty with yourself than you are comfortable with but it will be worth the struggle. In this life we have no choice in how we struggle, something will always find us. If we sit with our selves and tame our demons however they can no longer rule us or define us. Trust in yourself more than you've ever allowed before. Whatever it is you think you've got, you have it in you. Theres much to be said for the power of moving forwards, but remember that forward can still have it's ups and downs and is not linear.
"Climbing the Mountain"
It's like a big mountain you must climb one step at a time. There will be plateaus and treacherous peaks. Just don't forget to rest when you need to. For those days when you simply wish you could turn off the world and take a breather I offer this piece of advice...
There's this saying in my family that goes like this,
"Know when to take the dog for a walk, even if you don't have one.." 🐾
When you feel overwhelmed sometimes the best thing you can do is meditate on the situation and come back to it.
Taking some quiet moments for myself today while I work on new art. Nothing perks me up like creating new things, and I'm so thankful I didn't loose touch with this even though at times I've come close to giving up or just getting trashed instead. There's so much more to this life than just wishing it all away.